‘Catch Him and Keep Him’

I recently read Catch Him and Keep Him by Christian Carter. There’s no monetary amount for something which set the Women’s Movement back one hundred years. Thanks for marching ladies, but Christian Carter can take it from here. We can all sleep a little sounder tonight.

At first, like most things, this book sounded like a good idea. I thought a man’s point of view about beginning and maintaining a relationship in spiritual and healthy ways might be fruitful — even useful. Then I read the book … I realized I didn’t want to meet any man that would want me to “catch him and keep him.”

I feel that this school of thought puts all of the responsibility and maintenance on … us. Like women don’t have enough to do. I’m personally raising two children on my own, for starters! If a man over the age of 21 has not learned to share, take turns, and when to use his inside voice — even I can’t help him. But because I am at heart a problem solving Virgo, I have put together thirteen of the more glaring insults and will graciously offer positive solutions for each of Christian’s sexist points.

These are his “Keys to Remember” which appear at the end of each chapter:

1. ” … help him “shift” to be with you, and do not get upset if you want him to connect with you …”

Sometimes men have a hard time talking about stuff. (What am I suppose to be shifting anyway?)

2. “Work WITH a man and his sexuality, not AGAINST his nature.”

Friends take turns. Make sure you get your turn!

3. “… give him HIS OWN REASON to be interested, or else.”

Or else what? How about this, be open to the idea that what is truly in your best interest the Divine will manifest.

4. “Become MORE honest with your desires and expectations for your relationship …”

As women, we need to simply expect to be part of another human being’s journey. The same is true for men. Expectations can kill a relationship.

5. “The more you can start to recognize the REALITIES of the way a man is feeling and acting with you … a chance of growing …”

Ladies, try to stop reading into every little thing. You’ll drive yourself nuts.

6. “If you deny or fight the feelings or desires you fear inside your man …”

My advice: Just the two of you are here in this romance. Let your past go.

7. “Be bigger than just what is in the moment. Be a mature woman.”

Thank goodness — because this moment is all you really have. No name calling, please.

8. ” Use the science of “contagious emotions …”

Is there a shot for that? You are responsible for your feelings only — not your partner’s.

9. “Men love “cool girls …”

Please celebrate that fact that you haven’t worried about being “cool” since high school. While we’re at it, celebrate the fact that you’re not a girl anymore. I’ve earned my wrinkles!

10. “… let the man be right with anything that he says is wrong. It’s not that he IS right — it’s that you can re-frame what he does with it.”

Nobody likes a kiss-up. Use your manners but speak your truth.

11. “Be a little bit less available … if a man is being difficult emotionally … give him the gift of missing you.”

If you find yourself being “played” a lot … you might want to stop trying #11.

12. “Be flexible about your life as it relates to the things you and a man do together.”

Flexibility is an important spiritual quality. That’s all I can say on this point. It’s actually sound.

The last one is perhaps my personal favorite:

13. “You have to let a man know that you don’t want to casually date FROM THE START …”

How about you just show him by keeping your clothes on? Oh this is classic “Let’s have ‘the talk’ before we even kiss goodnight. I’m sure he would LOVE that.”

Namaste,
Psychic Ivy

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