Are We Compatible? 6 Ways to Make the Match Fit

Relationship Compatibility is a Reward, Not a Guarantee

Compatibility is a common word thrown around in relationships today. It sometimes refers to two people who enjoy the same movies, music, and share similar goals and interests. Truth is, none of these have anything to do with remaining together in a relationship. True compatibility isn’t about finding a perfect match or soulmate, but in our ability to relate and communicate with our partner. So what is true compatibility? It’s learning how to respect, trust, befriend, romance, communicate with, and spend quality time together. Here are six ways to build compatibility where there once was none.

Give Respect

It’s next to impossible to feel compatible with someone who doesn’t respect you. When there is mutual respect in a relationship, there is a sense of having similar values and goals. We feel closest to those who make us feel good about ourselves. Give to those as you would have given to you!

Offer Trust, Honesty, and Humility

Couples feel most compatible when trust, honesty, and humility are part of a relationship’s equation. Trust is another word for faith and loyalty. It means keeping our promises and holding each other’s secrets dear. Honesty refers not only to how we express our feelings, but also to admitting our faults and shortcomings. Despite many people fearing their partner discovering their weaknesses, research suggests that sharing the good and bad in ourselves expresses trust, encourages intimacy, and promotes humility and forgiveness.

Develop Friendship

Compatibility relies on our ability to maintain and uphold friendship in our relationships. This means that we make an effort to be there for our partner whenever they need us. This can be as simple as dropping a magazine whenever they ask for our opinion, or inviting them out to lunch when we sense tension at their office. Compatibility develops when good friends care about each other. This is no magical connection, but rather an unspoken vow of unlimited support and security.

Spend Time Together

As discussed, compatibility develops from getting to know each other, so it should come as no surprise, spending time is of the utmost importance. Intimate lovers prioritize their time together, seeking common ground from which to share their interests. If you no longer feel like you have any common interests, think of it as finding something fun to do. In the beginning, this may take some compromise, but soon you’ll rediscover the ability to enjoy each other’s company. Research suggests that when we set time aside for fun, we not only connect, but we’re also more likely to simulate vocal and body patterns. This isn’t saying you’re losing independence, but rather gaining a familiarity and comfort with each other.

Be Receptive to Romance

Compatibility is being both receptive and responsive to your partner’s needs and advances. As chemically driven animals, we need to experience a sense of closeness with our partner to remind our prehistoric brain of the chemistry we share. Close intimate contact provides the recognition of scent, taste, and touch. Interests and goals may come and go, but our chemical compatibility should always remain fundamentally the same. Rekindling feelings of compatibility can be as simple as engaging in sex, light kissing, cuddling, or even just holding hands.

Polish Your Communication

Compatible couples listen to each other, compromise during arguments, and say they’re sorry when the moment calls for it. This has little to do with compatibility, and everything to do with communicating and understanding each other’s values, goals, interests, needs, and concerns. People are constantly changing, which is why if you don’t take the time to keep in touch with your partner’s daily activities, goals, and interests, you may feel like you’re losing touch. People don’t necessarily grow apart, but rather allow themselves to lose interest in rediscovering each other. Compatibility takes work, but the effort will become easier if you maintain healthy curiosity and polished communication skills.

If you’re afraid your partner won’t give back from any of these ideas, studies suggest if you give respect, honesty, romance, friendship, and curiosity, you should also receive them in return.

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3 thoughts on “Are We Compatible? 6 Ways to Make the Match Fit

  1. pozycjonowanie stron

    Jack in the Box is my big temptation. The secret is to keep everything in the bag unless you’re currently eating it. When you’re done, you scrunch it all up and stuff it in your empty beverage container. Also keep a moderately messy car, so if you can’t dump the evidence right away, you can still cover up by claiming it’s just a leftover cup from long ago.

  2. Ginell Parra

    All that sounds really nice but if you don’t share the same goals in live…it won’t work no matter how hard you try..For instance, if in a couple one wants kids and the other doesn’t…what are their chances to succeed even if they have a strong friendship, respect each other, etc.. however, if you do have common goals then all these tips are a “must”.

  3. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Best article I’ve read on relationship tips in a while…..simple , basic , but important tips.

    good job Eric !


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