Advice for My Future Ex

One Last Chance to Save the Relationship

Your happiness is your responsibility. If you are with someone who makes you unhappy, only you have the power to change it. But you must have the self-confidence to believe you deserve better and that you deserve to be happy. Before you break up, communicate to your partner what you need. It’s up to them to decide if they are willing to do the work. If they aren’t, you are free to move on to someone who is. But before you do, let’s look at a few last-resort conversations you should have with them if you want to try and save the relationship.

Respect Me or Lose Me

Without respect, a relationship is doomed. It’s through the toughest times that a partner’s respect is the most evident, and the most necessary. If you don’t feel their respect and admiration, especially during the most trying times, then why are you together? If they can’t respect you, you need to move on.

We’re a Team, so Don’t Shut Me Out

Whatever you are going through, they should want to be there to support you. And if they’re the ones going through it, you should be there to support them because you are a team. But what if they push you away and reject your support? And what if they seek the support of others, outside your relationship? That kind of behavior will drive a wedge between you. It also denies the closeness you should share as a couple. If you can’t be mutually supportive and open, it’s time to move on.

Find out if it’s time to move on. Psychic Venus ext. 9463 knows!

Commit to Me or Set Me Free

Either you are together or you’re not. If you aren’t looking for a casual fling and they are, then you are with the wrong person. If you have been together for a long time and steps towards commitment aren’t being made, it’s probably never going to happen. You deserve to be with someone who wants to commit to you. If your partner isn’t committing, it means they don’t really think you’re right for each other.

Know why they won’t commit to you. Psychic Linda ext. 4497 has the answer.

Always Make Time for Us

Even if you are both very busy people, you need to make your relationship a priority. If you feel like you are taking a backseat to their career, social life or hobbies, you need to move on. You deserve a relationship with someone who makes you a top priority. You should have a deep connection with someone because that deep connection creates the necessary foundation to deal with all the challenges life throws your way.

“Change is always to be welcomed rather than feared because it leads to the best relationship choices and the greatest freedom.” – Psychic Faith ext. 9608

 

36 thoughts on “Advice for My Future Ex

  1. maryfox

    my partner and i got back together(he is my ex-husband) and i have trust issues with him. now he seems commited and have a tattoo on his arm with my name. but the problem is he is on his cell on facebook or other and is secret and protecitve over his phone. he has a code to get into his phone. what do i do?

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  2. Jen

    @LENA…
    You’re only 46; that’s the new 36; get out now; start new and make a happy life for you.
    A man treating you bad is what you know and are used to right now; contact a domestic violence shelter; get yourself help…none of what’s happened to you is your fault; NONE of it…get counseling that will help you to walk away and begin life for YOU…in time; you’ll meet someone who cherishes YOU and you’ll know relationships for how they should be….and how they should make you…which is happy, committed and loved; not used.

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  3. Khan

    i dont know some time i think she love me sometime its only just like a play but i love her i dont know what i have what i will do she is consulting with peoples and my inslt m very upset abt this

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  4. lena

    Hi I need help dont no what to do. I have been together for 33 years we divorced for 10 years once because he cheated on me with every friend I had and made me beleave I was seeing things when I would catch them to where I second guessed my self on eveything. Then I left for ten years and got married to someone that beet on me for 10 years when I got strong enough to leave him cuz everyone thought he waz going to kill me I ended up remarrying my first husband again and things were wonderful at first until my our daughter walked in on him and my best friend having sex on my birthday when I was asleep in my own house and then 6 years later he went to Hong Kong on a buisness trip just to find out he slept xith about 5 whores while he was there then came home and all hell broke loose he canseld our bank and opend one in his own name wouldnt let me have no money for 2 years I mean I never got to touch it at all he moved me on the other side of town and had my truck repoed ,then he would go to work and leave me with no cigeretts and come home I would ask if I could please go get a dam pack of cigeretts cuz he didnt leave me none he would tell me no not with that attude come back at me tomorrow. I have been with him since I was 13 we had a baby when I was 14 and married at 15 and divorced at 18 and remarried at 29 and im lost he is all I know he wouldnt let me work he said my job was to taje care of him and now im 46 and dont no what to do or if I leave I have no exsperiance

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  5. Bella

    FYIi joe, THE girl YOU thought YOU knew, WAS probably NOT the girl YOU thought YOU knew/ or have ever known , FYI if she can/COULD hurt you like that, please stop wasting your time, ON a non “ALIVE” relationship IF that make sense 2 you == bottom line == she’s NOT the woman/WOMEN for YOU & you DO deserve a hell of A LOT better than that BS .. many blessingss 2 you .. Bella

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  6. Bella

    This IS 4 JOE, IF she really loved YOU, she would not of cheated, once a cheat, it will always been N the back of your mind .. if she sys she loves YOU, this is a NO briner because if she really did love you, she would NOT of cheated .. ” it is what it is ” .. FYIi why are you the (1) who’s saying your sorry , FYI she was lucky 2 have your –S the 1ST time, so please stop apolozing 4 her BS / mess … ” because its NOT with you ,NOR on you, PLEASE let it/her GO … WHEN she says/WRITES .. insttead take this attitude like a blogger ON this site does “”” I C right thru YOU= divine blessings AS always “”” !! However DO your self A FAVOR by Letting IT HER ALL go, best wishes 2/4 you Bella

    Reply
  7. Pingback: Advice for My Future Ex | California Psychics Blog | Love Advice

  8. joe

    i have a problem with ma girl friend.we first broke up and came back together but things are instead getting worst.she makes me angry each time i spend time with her and i still tell her am sorry to keep things moving.I caught her cheating on me.She sent me a mail asking me to forgive her and that she wishes i could bring back the good girl she used to be.I have tried but its not working but i still love her.i dont know what to do.

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  9. Alexandra

    Tracy: Take it from one whose been there and now a bit late to have better chance in finding a compatible mate…move on…sorry about your brother..help however you can, but it is time to think a bit about No. 1, it is NOT selfish, it is WISE…good luck.

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  10. Tracy

    I’m sorry, I wasn’t quite finished yet. Now that my children are grown, and I don’t have them around. I get bored and lonely, I thought it was time for me to think about my future and have some fun, but I have no one to have fun with. I can’t get him to go to the movies or bowling or anything with me and it just isn’t any fun by yourself. I always go with him to watch him fly, but he never wants to do anything else. I want to enjoy my life not watch it pass me by. I can’t talk to him about how I feel because it always ends up in an argument. We’ve been together for 11 years and I really love him and I thought he loved me, but now I’m beginning to wonder. We are both Aquarius and we never used to argue but we do now almost every day. I feel like all he cares about is himself. We were supposed to be planning a future together but he’s only thinking about his future right now which makes me wonder if we even have a future together.

    Reply
  11. ash

    Ok when i was reading i fould its me that wants to end the relationship but i dont know how to tell him cause he says he loves me but my heart isnt set on him im wondering if it is my heart is telling me the right thing?

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  12. Tracy

    Thank you for your wonderful words of wisdom. This article really hit home with me. It gave me a lot to think about. I’m not happy with my life and I need to make some changes, I’m just confused about what I want to do. I am 46 and my four children are grown up and I have three grandchildren and one on the way. The problem is I had to move 1000 miles away and I haven’t seen them in two years. I miss them so much it hurts. My brother had a bad accident last January and is now paralyzed from the waist down. My boyfriend and I live with him and take care of him by ourselves. We took over my brother’s job with Roadside rescue service and take care of him so we are on call 24/7. I live with two men and very rarely get anytime for myself and since I don’t have any friends here yet, I don’t have anyone to talk to. The guys can be very irritating at times, for instance, my boyfriend flies remote control planes and is constantly working on them, talking about them, and leaving the mess behind. If I say anything about it, we get into an argument. We very rarely get any free time or time alone but he spends all his free time either flying his planes, working on his planes, talking to his buddies on the phone about his planes, or on you tube

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  13. Tessy

    I liked this advice. Been going through some questionable things in my relationship. I guess I need to build my self confidence up before I decide. Thanks for the advice.

    Reply
  14. ann

    When will I meet my soul mate? My birthday is May 7, 1947/
    What zodiac signs will be my best soul mates, please?
    Thanks a million

    Reply
  15. catinthehat

    I dont believe in divorce either. but when all of these traits come in and they do not take head or try to make things better… She is absolutely right.. it suffocates you when you stay and stay and are under an illusion that they will turn around nd come back.. I absolutely loved this article it hit home with me. Thankyou!

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  16. Jake

    @Cha – I do not believe people intentionally enter into marriage with an end date in mind. Yes although marriage is a sacred and dear thing (also requiring “work”), there are circumstances that justify a divorce…rape, abuse (child or spouse), incest, etc. Life is not always black and white…cut and dry. There are so many shades of grey!

    Food for thought!

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  17. libby 5288

    Love the article, RESPECT!!! IS THE MOST IMPORTANT WORD!!!!! If a man or women does not show any effect to show any kind of responsibility for their mate, just want to be with the guys, or just makes any kind of excuses why he can’t commit, it’s time to move on, that road is closed, relationships are a team effect, you know when someone loves you, they really put many others before their relationships, if they are in love they will go out of their way to introduce you to their parents, also they are very proud to show you off to their friends, love is very unique in it’s way, it makes people change in ways that you can’t even imagine, you do things that you thought you would never do for anyone else, surprises, remember special days and maybe finding yourself going out of your way to get this love one a special card with really amazing words that you thought you would have never shared with anyone. I believe that we make our choices in love, we make blind mistakes n sometimes we as women n man, feel that we maybe can change that person we love to love you. When a man is not into you, he will let you know either by telling you that he is not interested in a relationship with you, but only wants to be friends, now there is a red flag. We sometimes don’t want to listen to the most important words he is telling you. So, what happens we stay friends, hoping that he will maybe change his mind, well, sad to say, later on you discovered with lots of emotional pain and the choice you made for yourself, that you are the one that made the choice to put a picture of hope, so we need to make choices n sometimes as hard as it is sadly we need to move on, yes, the pain is bad n the anger that comes with these emotions, but in the long haul, we need to love ourselves and respect ourselves as women n man. Yes, there will be people out there that continue to believe that things will change n they don’t need have to make a strong decision so you as a man or women won’t get into a deep depression of sadness, then with that becomes no trust in other new relationship. I believe that we must make very wise choices in other for us to move forward n not make these mistakes again, but learn hopefully from them. Love n Light:)

    Reply
  18. Mize

    I really love your article, and thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights. It helps me to get more strong and to feel confident on my decision I made last year to end up my relationship. Even though we been together for 6 years it were not working well and I was not happy.
    Best

    Reply
  19. Diane

    I would like to know if my ex will find someone else and leave me alone. Also wondering if I will meet someone who could be special to me

    Reply
  20. Kimberly

    Cha, I am addressing your comment. your ideals are noble but obviously you have not endured a situation that is beyond your control. I always believed in marriage and my husband was very ill and I loved him and took care of him, like I believed I should. When he recuperated he wanted money quick and decided gambling was the way to go. He became addicted blew every one of his paychecks. We lost everything, I lost my respect for him. His exact words ‘you can ask me to do anything but dont ask me to stop gambling.’ He refused to get help. I had no other choice, I know God forgives me I had to leave. My life is better now. The stress is no longer killing me. I am at peace with myself and with God, and believe me my intentions when I took those vows were sincere, unfortunately destiny had something else in mind.

    Reply
  21. A. J.

    KEEPING IT THOUGHTFULLY HONEST: This article provides some mature and prudent advise to consider whether one is a healthy partnership. It states some important factors one may consider whether to continue in this relationship or move-on. The bottom line is the question does mutual Self-respect exist in this relationship?

    Reply
  22. mac

    i been divorce since october 2011 and i look to move forward and i got my eyes set on a lovely young lady name haleigh lauren nichols feb 24 hopefully we will connect

    Reply
  23. Lauri

    I would like to know if my relationship with my ex is going to work out like stay together with the boy’s?

    Reply
  24. Bonita

    I really like your suggestins; it is that simple. It’s when our hearts get in the way, and doesn’t match our heads…that causes lots of upset & pain…

    Reply
  25. Leslie Dolin

    I prefer a message that addresses our signs. This kind of information is useless and I just delete.
    The former type may take time but is far more useful.
    Regards,
    Leslie Dolin

    Reply
  26. Cha

    I do not believe in divorce, and that marriage is a lifetime of working our challenges. If one have an illness, they would not give-up on themselves. What about the vows that were made at the altar between me, my partner and God, “until death do we part. “Marriage to someone is as a white searchlight turned on the darkest places of the human nature”, and it opens up things about ourselves that we would not have seen otherwise! If someone do not feel they can stay committed through the challenges of life, then stay single, do not test marriage.
    One thing I do agree 100 % is that your partner should not have to take a “backseat” in their career, social life or hobbies. My husband is long distance, and I do not think he makes me his top priority and I will discuss this with him. We are planning to be together soon and if he dose nto make an effort to make me his top priority, I will allow him to move on with his life. I say this since I do make him my #1 Top priority, and most of all, I DO DESERVE THE BEST!

    Reply

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