Adventures in Celibacy

Don’t cry for me, California Psychics. It was the greatest spiritual experience of my life. I wanted to heal in all areas of my life.

Why celibacy? That’s a fair question. I’m cute enough. Check my profile. I’m not a man-hater. Really, I’m quite the opposite. Love the gentlemen. To be really, really honest, I love sex. So the question remains — why? At 38 I was paralyzed by fear and lust. Fear of losing what I had. Lust over not getting what I wanted. I was also unable to finish my training as a Yogini, my life long dream. At the end of a fourteen month adventure, my Yogini allowed me to take my Yama Vows. I welcomed non-violence, truthfulness, not-stealing, celibacy, and non-greed into my life. I would really like to share my healing with you.

Sri Swami Satchidananda teaches, “Real pleasure comes from detaching ourselves completely from the entire world, in standing aloof — making use of the world as a master of it. Only in that can we have pride.”

I’ve learned life lessons from the sutras below which provided personal milestones. They became spiritual hurdles to overcome. Once basic human tenets were observed, I could progress to a higher path — celibacy. But I had to grasp the basics first.

1. Non-violence
Yoga Sutras II-35 “In the presence of one firmly established in non-violence, all hostilities cease. Where non-injury is perfected, all enmity ceases in the presence of him who possesses it.” What this means to me: I can’t fight by myself. It goes deeper than that. Our higher selves communicate with each other. It’s about the vibrations I send out. It’s about practicing non-attachment. You want to be right? Poof! You’re right. And for my next trick … I’m not attached to the outcome. I stop my own suffering. This vow has relieved me of the burden to always get my own way.

2. Truthfulness
Yoga Sutras II-36 “When he is perfected in truth, all acts and their fruits depend on him.” When I am completely truthful, I do not possess bad karma. I’m talking crazy honest. But I use my manners at all times. Now, I can decline to answer, but I try daily not to lie. When I practice truthfulness, I don’t need to run after things. They run after me. The life I have today is almost exactly what I have always wanted. I am living several dreams I believed impossible. I’m not afraid if I practice this vow. This vow has allowed me to overcome fear.

3. Continence (celibacy)
Yoga Sutras II-38 “By one established in continence, vigor is gained.” It’s OK to be uncomfortable. The first month was rough. It was about me controlling my mind, changing my thoughts, and then changing my actions. I didn’t have sex or even masturbate. This is my favorite vow. I don’t deny or ignore my sex drive. I just don’t allow it to make my choices. I gained the vigor to change my actions. I learned you don’t have to have sex in a relationship to dub it successful. Really. My relationship with my daughters is very successful. Enough said.

May all beings know health and wholeness,
May all beings know strength and bliss,
May all beings know truth and light.


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