9 Signs He’s Going to Cheat on You

Stop Him Before He Starts

If you could catch a cheater before he cheats, that would save you a lot of heartache. But the truth is there isn’t just one red flag that is going to pick a guaranteed cheater out of a lineup. In fact, there are several red flags to consider and keep an eye out for. Here are my top nine.

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1. He’s Cheated Before
Once a cheater, always a cheater? Possibly. And if you’re the other woman, remember he’s cheating on his significant other to be with you and will most likely cheat on you to be with someone else. It’s a bad habit, and one that all the love in the world won’t break him of. Whatever his reasons are for cheating and no matter how many times he promises he’ll leave them for you, know that he’s lying.

2. He’s a Narcissist
Narcissistic men are not particularly fun to date. And they are even less fun in a long-term relationship, because their sense of entitlement can lead them to believe they deserve more than one woman. And if you are not satisfying them completely, they will actually think you deserve to be cheating on.

3. He’s a Thrill-Seeker
What excites him? Is he the type to find a thrill in a game of chess, or would he rather jump out of a plane with no parachute? The more difficult it is to excite him, the more likely it is he’ll go to extreme measures to get excited. That potentially includes cheating. It’s the thrill of doing something secretive and possibly getting caught that turns him on.

4. He Has a 9 Tacked Onto His Age
There’s something about being on the brink of a new decade that makes some men cheat. Whether they’re turning 29 or 59, they could be looking for a big change, and that big change could be an affair. For a younger man, it could be the fear of settling or settling down that gives him the urge to cheat. For an older man, it could be the fear of growing old that that causes him to stray.

5. The Men in His Family Cheat
Cheaters are influenced by the people around them. If your guy comes from a long line of cheaters, he’s also likely to cheat. That’s because cheating seems normal to him. However, a man raised around cheaters could also be fiercely loyal. You can tell which one he is when he talks about his childhood. Note how he views the cheaters in his family as well as the people who were cheated on.

6. He Thinks You’d be Okay With It
Some men cheat because they’re convinced their partners would be okay with it—or at least they’d turn a blind eye. That’s why it’s important to establish boundaries early on in a relationship. Your partner needs to know where you stand and how you define love and relationships. That way, there is no misunderstanding about what is okay and what isn’t.

7. He’s Unhappy or Feeling Out of Control
You are not responsible for your partner’s happiness. If life or his career isn’t going the way he wants, he may cheat to feel in control. He may also cheat because he wants to break up with you. But instead of being honest and mature, he cheats on you so you will break up with him.

8. He’s Insensitive
Does your guy have a sensitive side? Does he cuddle with pets, cry during a sad movie or is he a nurturing father? A sensitive man is more likely to consider your feelings and would understand what cheating on you would do to you, your family and the life you share. That means he’s less likely to do it.

9. He Doesn’t Feel Like a Man
If you make more money than he does, his manhood could be suffering. That’s not your problem; it’s his own insecurities that make him feel the way he does. He may be inclined to cheat to feel more like a man. And if he’s unemployed, he may have a lot of free time on his hands. He may cheat out of boredom or to feel more like a man.

These nine signs are no guarantee that your man will cheat on you. They’re really just red flags to look out for. Good relationships are open and honest with set boundaries. In order to set those boundaries you need to have those difficult conversations early on. It’s better to know where you both stand from the beginning, so you can hold each other accountable in the future.

4 thoughts on “9 Signs He’s Going to Cheat on You

  1. Carolyn

    I just found out my boyfriend leavening me for this girl he’s been seeing for the past few weeks now I see why he always gone days at time he said It was because we’re his work was sending him so he didn’t want to have to drive 2 hours home it just sux because we live together and now I just feel lost

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  2. Carla Edmond

    Ur fd up if u believe its Ur fault for male or female wife or husbands shortcomings. You have low self esteem and entertain the drama of it being your fault. Ppl gonna do wtf they want to do…regardless. Time 2 move on what game one plays another trumps. J’s keeping it real

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  3. Cory

    I can see some truth with these 9 reasons, in some situations. Everything in life causes and is because of the ripple effect, including infidelity. While there is nothing that excuses bad behavior or makes it validated, truthfully when you are cheated on you are part of the blame. I have been cheated on, and I have cheated myself, and spent many hours of self evaluation and honest conversation to root the actual source of the infection. When I was cheated on, I was to blame. It wasn’t because of anything I had done wrong, it was because of what I hadn’t done. I hadn’t given enough attention to my partner – without water and sunlight a flower will die, and so will a relationship. I went through the routine of my days and when I had spare time I chose to spend that with my friends. This left my then wife wondering if I cared about her, and more importantly left her lonely. A beautiful young woman who doesn’t feel loved and is lonely is an affair waiting to happen, as other men pick up on her lonely signals and make their move. I don’t care how much she loves you, over time the attention she is getting away from home is going to make her feel better than being at home and then she is going to act on it. Same with guys, I was in another relationship that had a solid friendship, a lot of good communication and time spent together. Everything clicked but the bedroom. When a guy initiates intimacy 4 or 5 times a week and gets rejected all but 1 or 2 times a month, this is a recipe for disaster. The woman gets annoyed that every night she is having to come up with excuses why she doesn’t want to do it, and as time goes on she becomes more abrasive with her words in bed, and not as careful to reject without bruising his ego. He starts getting timid about initiating, out of fear of rejection, until he reaches the point he no longer initiates. She is then happy, she can go to bed and not be hounded for sex and once every few months she gives him the green light that she would be open to his advances. Now she is content, because she thinks they compromised and found a happy medium…but they didn’t compromise, they didn’t meet in the middle, she got her way. He still is hungry for sex 4 or 5 days a week and he is growing frustrated and resentful. He is laying next to this woman who told him when they were dating she would never stop wanting him, yet he feels very unwanted. He starts thinking the only thing she wants him for is to provide for her. He is lonely and wants to feel desired. Then one day at work he strikes up conversation with the woman who is sitting at home every night lonely and wanting attention. Neither of them started the day looking to start anything, but as small talk turns to more personal conversation they find that they share common ground when it comes to being unhappy. Pretty soon, they both are feeling a connection because they are both hurting the same way and for the same reason. Where there is smoke there is fire. These 2 now find themselves finding comfort in each others arms. Like I said in the beginning, there is no excuse for this behavior, but in reality both of the neglectful spouses had a hand in starting the fire that became this affair I just documented. Always remember, when you are pointing a finger to blame someone for doing you wrong you still have 3 fingers pointing back at you. A failed relationship doesn’t fall on the shoulders of a cheater, A person became a cheater because the relationship failed. Your job if cheated on and you want to one day have another relationship without the same consequences is to honestly find the root of why the relationship failed because the relationship failed and then cheating occurred as a result.

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