Stop Him Before He Starts
If you could catch a cheater before he cheats, that would save you a lot of heartache. But the truth is there isn’t just one red flag that is going to pick a guaranteed cheater out of a lineup. In fact, there are several red flags to consider and keep an eye out for. Here are my top nine.
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1. He’s Cheated Before
Once a cheater, always a cheater? Possibly. And if you’re the other woman, remember he’s cheating on his significant other to be with you and will most likely cheat on you to be with someone else. It’s a bad habit, and one that all the love in the world won’t break him of. Whatever his reasons are for cheating and no matter how many times he promises he’ll leave them for you, know that he’s lying.
2. He’s a Narcissist
Narcissistic men are not particularly fun to date. And they are even less fun in a long-term relationship, because their sense of entitlement can lead them to believe they deserve more than one woman. And if you are not satisfying them completely, they will actually think you deserve to be cheating on.
3. He’s a Thrill-Seeker
What excites him? Is he the type to find a thrill in a game of chess, or would he rather jump out of a plane with no parachute? The more difficult it is to excite him, the more likely it is he’ll go to extreme measures to get excited. That potentially includes cheating. It’s the thrill of doing something secretive and possibly getting caught that turns him on.
4. He Has a 9 Tacked Onto His Age
There’s something about being on the brink of a new decade that makes some men cheat. Whether they’re turning 29 or 59, they could be looking for a big change, and that big change could be an affair. For a younger man, it could be the fear of settling or settling down that gives him the urge to cheat. For an older man, it could be the fear of growing old that that causes him to stray.
5. The Men in His Family Cheat
Cheaters are influenced by the people around them. If your guy comes from a long line of cheaters, he’s also likely to cheat. That’s because cheating seems normal to him. However, a man raised around cheaters could also be fiercely loyal. You can tell which one he is when he talks about his childhood. Note how he views the cheaters in his family as well as the people who were cheated on.
6. He Thinks You’d be Okay With It
Some men cheat because they’re convinced their partners would be okay with it—or at least they’d turn a blind eye. That’s why it’s important to establish boundaries early on in a relationship. Your partner needs to know where you stand and how you define love and relationships. That way, there is no misunderstanding about what is okay and what isn’t.
7. He’s Unhappy or Feeling Out of Control
You are not responsible for your partner’s happiness. If life or his career isn’t going the way he wants, he may cheat to feel in control. He may also cheat because he wants to break up with you. But instead of being honest and mature, he cheats on you so you will break up with him.
8. He’s Insensitive
Does your guy have a sensitive side? Does he cuddle with pets, cry during a sad movie or is he a nurturing father? A sensitive man is more likely to consider your feelings and would understand what cheating on you would do to you, your family and the life you share. That means he’s less likely to do it.
9. He Doesn’t Feel Like a Man
If you make more money than he does, his manhood could be suffering. That’s not your problem; it’s his own insecurities that make him feel the way he does. He may be inclined to cheat to feel more like a man. And if he’s unemployed, he may have a lot of free time on his hands. He may cheat out of boredom or to feel more like a man.
These nine signs are no guarantee that your man will cheat on you. They’re really just red flags to look out for. Good relationships are open and honest with set boundaries. In order to set those boundaries you need to have those difficult conversations early on. It’s better to know where you both stand from the beginning, so you can hold each other accountable in the future.