8 Signs Your Relationship Has Become Too Comfortable

Comfortable Love

Your Relationship: Lustful or Comfortable?

Scientists have given your relationship comfort level a number—it is 11 months and 24 days. This is the average amount of time it takes a couple to fall into enough security and stability that they begin to do the things they would have never dreamed of in the beginning, including wearing un-sexy underwear around the house, using the facilities with the door open and picking each others scabs and blemishes. And if you think any of that sounds inappropriate (or gross), you may have never experienced a truly comfortable relationship. But quite frankly, that isn’t even the worst of it.

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The good news is that researchers also suggest that when a relationship becomes comfortable it can be a good thing, as it shows trust, security and stability. The thing is, everyone has their limits, and these are the eight signs your relationship could be on the way to becoming dangerously too comfortable.

Feeling Secure and Stable

Stability may sound like a good thing in your relationships, but according to professor and author, Dan Ariely, there is such a thing as an illusion of stability. Let’s be honest—we all have limits when it comes to certain things, so imagine your relationship as being completely stable could one day cost you your relationship. It is actually better to think of your relationship as a constant work in progress. This will help keep you on our toes, illicit curiosity, give you the incentive to be creative with your love language and remind you that love is not a prize, but a gift that can be taken away if you are undeserving.

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The Loss of Romance

Early on in a relationship, men and women are usually equally happy. But as time goes on and couples become more and more comfortable with each other, a woman’s happiness begins to plunder while a man’s happiness remains pretty much the same. Researchers suggest that a lack of romance could have something to do with it, and here’s why: Women are the nurturers in most relationships—they care for their partner’s health, set appointments and organize many of the things they and their partner do together. In return, most women have one very important request, and that is to be nurtured in return, which in her language means a little romance. When relationships get comfortable, men tend to dial down the romance. Instead, they should continue to date their partners, no matter how long they’ve been together.

Sex Is No Longer a Priority

In comfortable romantic relationships, sex gets de-prioritized.  If you’ve been with someone long enough, you may think you’ve done it every way possible, but the truth is, you haven’t. It’s a good thing women rarely cheat, because not having their sexual needs fulfilled is probably justification enough. Your life is full of priorities and responsibilities, and sex with your partner should be one of them. Schedule sex if you have to! Having regular sex will make you want it more. Eventually, it will be something that just happens again.

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Poor Table Manners

Do you have a partner who eats loudly or with their mouth open? Do they slurp and chomp to their heart’s content? Poor table manners can be a real turnoff, but they’re something people in comfortable relationships are often guilty of. Burping and passing gas at the table are also not acceptable behaviors. Pretend you’re having dinner in a fancy restaurant and act as if you were surrounded by other diners.

Pajama Dates

If your idea of a fun date on a Friday night is sitting in front of the TV with your love in your pajamas, you’d be right! But if this is your idea of a fun date, every date night, you are too comfortable in your relationship. Staying in can be cozy and romantic, but don’t forget to take your partner out once in a while. Trying new and exciting things together strengthens your bond.

Letting Go

This isn’t about body-shaming! Your partner should love you just the way you are. However, if when you met you were running marathons and taking pride in your personal appearance, but now you barely shower and have gained a ridiculous amount of weight due to just not caring, you’re too comfortable in your relationship. You and your love should be happy and healthy for yourselves and each other. Good health is always a worthy long-term goal, no matter how comfortable you are.

Not Giving Each Other Gifts

Every birthday and anniversary is important, no matter how long you’ve been together. So make these days special. Get your partner something they’d like, that perfectly captures the essence of your relationship and that’s creative. Thoughtful gifts are the best gifts and giving them will benefit your relationship in the long run.

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Poor Sleep Habits

Fidgeting in bed, passing gas, snoring or clipping your toenails? These are all inconsiderate acts people in comfortable relationships engage in.Wondering what it’s doing to your partner? It’s definitely ruining the quality of their sleep. And a lack of sleep makes a person grumpy and causes them to be more selfish in relationships. Take steps to improve your sleep hygiene and curb your snoring. Your partner will be happier and healthier for it.

3 thoughts on “8 Signs Your Relationship Has Become Too Comfortable

  1. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Dear Chrissi,

    in response to your posting below:
    I would say that that behavior is WAY, WAY, TOO ” comfy “…..lol….. you know, I’ve read many articles over the years about how the ladies should not let themselves go, as far as appearance and behavior, but I feel that our guys should not let themselves go either . It cuts both ways. ( you might want to print out this article and post it up on the fridge for him….lol )

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    Chrissi May 6, 2015 at 9:14 am
    How comfy is someone who not only picks their toenails, and their nose, but scratches their ‘lower regions’ an inspects their nails after ? and that in bed too- plus ‘skidmarking their underwear, an occasionally sheets- and allowing their socks to become stiff because they wear their shoes so long ? admittedly we’ve been together 25 years this year but surely ?

  2. Chrissi

    How comfy is someone who not only picks their toenails, and their nose, but scratches their ‘lower regions’ an inspects their nails after ? and that in bed too- plus ‘skidmarking their underwear, an occasionally sheets- and allowing their socks to become stiff because they wear their shoes so long ? admittedly we’ve been together 25 years this year but surely ?


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