8 Signs You’re About to Have Terrible Sex

8 Signs You're About to Have Terrible Sex

Is There Terrible Sex in Your Future?

None of us really need the reminder that terrible sex is not only bad for a relationship, but also for our own soul and self-esteem. The next time you are about to embark on an adventure in casual sex, make sure these eight signs of impending terrible sex are nowhere to be seen. If they are, you might want to go home alone.

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You’re Not Attracted to Them

One of the defining qualities of a one-night stand is that you can have all the fun without any of the emotion. That’s great, but one of the main differences between great and terrible sex is a certain amount of physical and emotional compatibility. This means that you have to be attracted to at least one element of the other person’s character. If there is nothing that attracts you about them with their clothes on, getting them naked isn’t going to make them more attractive.

There’s No Mutual Respect

Opposites can attract, but keep in mind that communication and friendship are at the core of every great sexual experience. If you don’t have respect for each other, and there’s no give-and-take, you’re going to have some terrible sex.

Their Scent is Off

A person’s scent can be off, and that’s not necessarily because they haven’t bathed or brushed their teeth in a while. Some people just have a smell that’s not pleasing to everyone. That’s because your olfactory senses (in your nose) can smell pheromones—chemical substances released by the body to influence the physiology or behavior of another—and if you don’t like what you smell, it means you aren’t compatible. A bad scent, on any level, is a a red flag and it indicates that terrible sex is on the horizon.

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They Can’t Dance

They don’t need to be a finalist of a competitive dance show to be good in bed. It’s not about technique or skill. What matters is that you like what they do. If they look sexy to you, chances are you’ll like what they have to offer in the bedroom. If they’ve mastered the art of looking like a fish out of water, and you don’t like that, chances are they’ve also mastered the art of terrible sex.

The First Kiss is a Dud

Wondering if you’ll get a second date? That all depends on your first kiss. Over half of all people will make their decision to go on a second date with someone based on the quality of their first kiss. If your hormones and genes aren’t getting along in the saliva department, chances are there won’t be much to look forward to between the sheets. Your body is built to find you a good match, and if you’re lips aren’t begging for more, they could be saving you from some terrible sex.

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There’s No Foreplay

There’s nothing worse than a waiter trying to serve dessert when everyone is still enjoying their appetizers. If your partner is trying to move things along before your mind and body are ready, you’re on your way to having terrible sex. Great sex begins in the mind and follows with the body. A partner who doesn’t take things slow and won’t build on the mutual excitement doesn’t know how to please you. Maybe they don’t care too much about pleasing you either.

They Don’t Know What You Like and You Won’t Tell Them

It’s really easy to blame someone else for terrible sex, but it’s also likely that you’re to blame too. Other than just being incompatible, your partner may not know what you like, and you’re too uncomfortable to tell them. People aren’t mind readers, so if you want something specific in bed, you need to share it. And don’t worry about coming off as too bossy. It’s actually quite sexy when someone knows exactly what they want and has no problem sharing it with their partner.

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You’re Over-Analyzing the Moment

Over-analyzing sex is like trying to calculate nuclear physics while on a roller coaster. It is counterproductive and will end with you missing out on most of the fun. Just relax and let it happen any way the two of you see fit. If you have the time to stop and think about how you must look in a certain sex position—you’re doing it wrong.

11 thoughts on “8 Signs You’re About to Have Terrible Sex

  1. Marc from the UK

    I agree with Abigail, OMG scent is so important, if there is no zing then there is no ker ding ker ding lol !

  2. Abigail

    Eric good article the kiss and smell is the deal breaker or maker for me ! Use your inner animal instincts it never steers you wrong !

    Blessings ~

  3. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi Archer,

    That was funny….LOL…..you should write an article or two with a humorous twist maybe ????

    I was thinking along same lines yesterday myself as I read this article, and filling in the blanks as I went along too.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

  4. Archer 6512

    This article has huge comedic potential.

    Sign 1) Foreplay involved crying and talking about their mum.

    Sign 2) The guy tells you “I thought 50 shades of grey was cinematic masterpiece.”

    Sign 3) The word “furry” entered the conversation.

    Sign 4) You see in their book collection they have Mien Kampf next to Judy Blooms “Are you there God, its me Margaret”

    Sign 5) He can only tell digital time, clock time with hands and stuff is way too out there.

    Sign 6) You find out they have “Practice how to French kiss” app on their Ipad.


  5. Chrissi

    hubby and I haven’t even indulged in bad sex for quite a few years now it petered out when his cancer and my menopause coincided and he didn’t want any for a year-understandably as he had to have serious levels of radiotherapy and they had had to remove 3 of his quads and the adductor muscle plus scrape the bone to make sure they had got all of the cancer- and obviously after menopause if you don’t use it you lose it – I dried up and shrank- or so it felt like when we tried again afterwards it was so painful- and hurt for days afterwards too though I didn’t tell him at first, until he realised the noises I was making weren’t cries of pleasure but pain- since then he has put on weight which he carries all at the front and has developed man boobs bad breath- well he always had it but dealt with it so it didn’t notice and generally has let himself go. I had begun to find him unattractive physically a while back as he had begun to let himself go cleanliness wise as soon as we’d married but the lust of the early years got us past that- and even through an affair during which he fathered a daughter on his mistress when my own son was not even a year old- there are 20 months between them- and through the perceived hostility of his mother because we lived with her- Now though, we have the house to ourselves my libido and sexual desire seems to have returned which I have told him- but the issues remain- he loves me and I know he is hypersensitive to anything he perceives as criticism- because of his upbringing

  6. Jill

    I never have terrible sex…the only thing he can’t or won’t do is dance…but I make up for that and dance around him!!!


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