7 Reasons to Keep Your Independence While in a Relationship

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Don’t Lose Yourself

When we enter into a relationship with someone, it’s natural to want to spend time with them. We want to share things about ourselves and learn about the other person as well. We get excited about making plans and experiencing things together – shopping, eating, watching movies, introducing them to friends, attending parties, etc. But while all of this newness is going on in your world, you may be making less time for friends or yourself – two things that are important to our personal growth and perspective. Everyone needs a little “me time,” and that’s why it’s important to retain some of your independence.

7 Reasons to Remain Independent While in a Relationship:

1. Girls need girl-time; guys need guy-time.
Part of life’s joy is having loving, healthy relationships with your BFFs. We’ve all witnessed the guy or girl who throws themselves completely into a relationship and essentially forgets their friends. If that happens, then your support system will likely disappear, and you don’t want that. It’s important to maintain your non-relationship relationships.

2. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and you can’t miss someone if you’re never apart.
There’s something sad yet sweet about missing someone. It builds anticipation and a desire to see one another again. Whether you’re just missing them for a day, a week or longer, coming together at the end of the day and just being in each other’s presence can feel like the Sun breaking through the clouds – warm and exhilarating. A little time apart will help you appreciate the times you have together.

3. You’ll have lots of interesting experiences to share.
When you and your partner have different jobs, different hobbies and different friends, chances are you’ll both have lots of different experiences to share at the end of your day. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have things that you do together, of course. But there’s something to be said about seeing the excitement in your partner’s eyes when he tells you about catching the biggest fish he’s ever caught or when she shares getting a thumbs-up from her boss on her new marketing plan. He may not share her love of marketing and she may admit that the last place you’ll ever find her is on some boat in the middle of the ocean, but that doesn’t mean that your partner won’t be interested to hear, see and even feel your excitement.

4. Your independence can be comforting to your other half.
When you’re in a relationship it’s good to know that if your partner had to take the lead, they would handle it well. Whether that means taking care of the bills, keeping a roof over your heads or just being able to stay afloat emotionally, there’s something about having an independent partner that provides a certain level of comfort. It’s great to be independent, but it’s also nice to have someone that you have faith in and that you can trust.

5. Independence can equal desirability.
Let’s face it, independent people are sexy, and if you’re in a relationship with another independent person, you know it creates a spark between you. Isn’t it always the bad boy, rebel-type that turns girls on? And isn’t it always the impossible-to-get, out-of-my-league vixen that turns a guy’s head? We always desire the unattainable, independent or hard-to-get. And while the bad boy and the vixen may be an exaggeration, the point is that two independent people are still creating that same type of desirable landscape within their relationship.

6. In the event of a breakup…
Well, you know the statistics; lots of people end relationships for various reasons. If you’re on the receiving end of a relationship pink slip you’ll survive much better and bounce back faster if you have held on to your independence while in a relationship. The alternative means that you’d have a much harder time moving on. If you did everything together then anything from eating toast to washing the car could remind you of your ex. It’s too painful to even imagine.

7. Your independence is your most valuable asset.
Your independence is priceless and it’s yours to value, protect and keep – no one else can do this for you. It would be unwise in any situation to devalue your own sense of identity or your sense of being a wholly-independent person. And if you lose it, you’ll be the only one who can get it back.

These are just 7 reasons to remain independent while in a relationship, and perhaps you can come up with a few more – if so, leave a comment. As Dr. Phil would say, “relationships aren’t 50/50; relationships should be 100/100 [percent].” That means that each person comes into the relationship as a complete, whole and independent person, and that alone is a recipe for relationship success.

2 thoughts on “7 Reasons to Keep Your Independence While in a Relationship

  1. Muhammad Shakeel

    Maturity in relationships matter because if you are unable to understand each other feelings then there is no purpose to be in a relationship more. Feelings get hurt when you don’t compromise for other and negative vibes become more strong in form of bitterness and anger to make others down. Relationships has to be strong with true love and care only.

  2. Deanna thompson

    I can hardly read the fine print. I believe in working at making a relationship work it takes two to do that. Other wise it not going any were.


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