6 Habits That Keep You Single

Habits That Keep You Single

Are You Really Ready for a Relationship?

If you’re too picky, shy away from intimacy, or are too set in your ways, you might be single. But if you enjoy being single, this article isn’t for you. However, if you prefer the company of a partner, you could have some habits that are keeping you single. And if you’ve had these habits for a while, you may be single for a really long time. Here are six signs you’ve been single too long.

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1. All Your Free Time Goes to Friends and Family
People in romantic relationships tend to devote more time to their partners than they do to their friends and family. But single people have plenty of time for their friends and family. If all your free time is devoted to platonic relationships, you may not have time for romantic love.

2. You Prefer to Live Close to Your Family
Family can be a safety blanket for single people. If they don’t have a reliable romantic partner, at least they have family to fall back on. But if a wonderful opportunity comes up that would take you miles away from your family, and you forgo it to stay close to your safety blanket, you could be too single.

3. You Only Want to Make Choices That Benefit You
One of the perks of being single is that you don’t have to take anyone else’s feelings into consideration when making choices. But if you feel like you shouldn’t ever have to take anyone else’s feelings into consideration, you’ve been single way too long. Partnerships are about compromise and sacrifice. But if you aren’t willing to bend a bit, you’re not ready for a relationship.

4. You Don’t Get Lonely
When you’re in a relationship, you have constant companionship and that curbs loneliness. But what if you don’t get lonely? What if you are surrounded by friends and family who are always there? You might never get a chance to feel lonely. And if your need for companionship is satisfied by friends and relatives, what do you need a romantic partner for?

5. Your Finances Are in Order
It’s great when you’ve got your finances in order. You’re on top of your debt and can buy yourself anything you’d ever need or want. You don’t need someone to boost your credit score or help you out financially, as couples tend to do for each other. You aren’t waiting for a significant other to come along so you can buy a house or start your own business. So what do you need a partner for?

6. You Have the Sex Thing Covered
You certainly don’t need to be in a relationship to have a satisfying sex life. And maybe you are better at pleasing yourself than anyone you’ve ever met! That’s okay, if you want to be single. But if you want to be in a relationship, you need to be open to the idea of being intimate with another person. You need to acknowledge that there is someone out there who is capable of pleasing you too.

There is nothing wrong with being single, if that’s what you want to be. But if you want to be in a relationship, you need to make yourself available. You need to open yourself up to the idea of partnership—on all levels. You also need to be able to make time and room for someone else.

16 thoughts on “6 Habits That Keep You Single

  1. Jill

    I think the last point is good: You need to make room for someone else in your life. If your life is filled up with friends, family and work, where does a romance fit in? This isn’t about waiting for a man to come by and rescue you. But when he comes by, how is he going to make your life better? How are you going to enrich his? People want to feel needed. It makes them feel valuable. If you’ve got everything covered, what do you need a partner for?

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  2. Anonymous

    The advice in this article is misguided and completely wrong. I dont think the author thought this through. This is good advice for a emotionally and financially needy person to have a unsuccessful relationship in the long run. Sorry but this is wrong! I dont think everyone should be giving people advice. Everything needs balance!

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  3. inda contreras

    I am 30 years old a single mom and really don’t have friends nor family in my life since I’ve moved to a new town,Reason being ,I was attracting the wrong type of guys I wouldn’t even call it. Relationships more like flings .It sucks I long for a great man with good morals to come into my life. I’m afraid of beingsingle for the rest of my life… Linda

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  4. Natisha

    First, I will say that I agree with these points a whole lot. They ring true. Secondly, I also read several of the comments posted and can see, from other points of view, why some say they disagree with the article. It sounds like most of you have reached that place within that is satisfied with how your life is right now. You aren’t of the mindset that you “need” someone to complete your life or make you feel whole. You’ve accomplished this on your own. The next step is just “wanting” someone there because it’s on your own terms with your “self”. You’re ready to share your world with someone, and this has a lot to do with how you interpreted the article. You likened it to you, which makes complete sense as to why you disagree with it. But. Look at the article from the other side. We’ve had a relationship or relationships where you were ready to share your world, but the other person wasn’t for whatever reason. Now, looking at the article from this angle, and keeping the other person you dated in mind, doesn’t the article now hold more truth and insight? For me, it does. If I had only read this a few months ago, I would like to think it would’ve helped me a little sooner to see what I already knew in my gut. My ex-boyfriend, the article’s points were completely right regarding him. I thought that maybe I wasn’t truly ready to be involved in a committed relationship, but I know that I am. He, the ex, definitely wasn’t, and probably won’t ever be. Just some food for thought! Friends and family are there for support, but they shouldn’t be your excuse for…not doing anything or taking a chance on someone. If you really believe that the right person has finally come along, he/she not sharing your world – well, it wouldn’t be an option. And what’s more is that he/she will give the same back, just as whole heartedly as you.

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  5. Lauren

    Being financially secure is what KEEPS someone single? Not in my world. I have had experiences dealing with partners whose finances were a complete mess, and those relationships never lasted long. How many times have we heard the tired story of people looking to be rescued by a partner because they don’t have the maturity to hold down a job or manage a simple budget, but are looking for a financial crutch to maintain their lifestyles? I hardly think that losing my job, defaulting on my mortgage, and going on food stamps would increase my appeal to a potential partner.

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  6. Monya

    Except for number 3 this is the WORST advice I have ever heard!! You can certainly balance your time between relationship and family. Seriously, how often do you meet someone who wants to move across the country? I don’t care how much time you spend with family and friends, it is not the same as a romantic relationship so of course anyone can be lonely for romance even if your calendar is filled with family and friends. And….are you seriously suggesting that people need to wait for a relationship to start a business or buy a house and that you should make yourself financially dependent on someone?!?! Being stuck in a relationship because of finances is unbearable for a woman or man. Being financially independent is just plain smart. And who sits around thinking, “well, I won’t start my business until I meet someone’, isn’t that kind of co-dependent? No successful person would ever do that. And don’t people mostly pleasure themselves in between partners? That will hardly keep you single. This is especially the worst advice for women I have ever read. I’m sorry, it is utterly ridiculous.

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  7. Anonymous #3

    Seriously! I agree with Anonymous. Until you love yourself, have abundance in family, friends, and finance, there is no way you’re going to attract a healthy relationship. Now if you want a needy, financially screwed-up, emotional cripple, maybe this advice will work for you.

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  8. Leah

    I agree with this advice. I need to avoid people described in the column for a meaningful relationship.

    Reply
  9. Yasha

    I agree with these and they all point to me! Lol I’m 37 and still single, but I’m not hard pressed for a man. It just would be nice to have a companion of the opposite sex to come home to. This independent, living single lifestyle is getting old. But I want to encourage the women out there to continue doing you and the right one will come along. Have faith in God first and foremost, and tell Him what you want. Believe and receive. I’m doing the same.

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  10. Carol

    I totally agree with Annonymous! (the first response) I’m a grandmother who’s had a few satisfying relationships over the last 40 years. I also am financially independent and don’t need a man to support me. I have male and female friends and family close by and far away. I am content with my own company and don’t need to be “entertained” by others, although it is fun sometimes.

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  11. Mala

    Independent ladies…make your own money. .do as u wish. ..when the time is right..you will find your Mr Right!

    Reply
  12. Annonymous

    Some of the worst advice I’ve ever read. Especially for women. I have to respectfully disagree. LADIES, feel free to have a close loving relationship with your friends and family, and live near them. It’s all about balance. It’s great to be comfortable being alone without being lonely. Being comfortable with yourself is a healthy thing. Ditto on the sex thing. Knowing your body and how to satisfy yourself sexually, again, is a healthy thing. That won’t keep you single. It doesn’t keep men single either. Absolutely make choices that benefit you. That’s not a bad thing, it’s you taking care of you. And most important of all, having your finances in order is THE MOST intelligent thing you can do. Many women get “stuck” in a relationship, unable to get out when they need or want to because of financial constraints-” I can’t afford to leave, he makes a lot more money than I do.”. So yeah, financial independence is incredibly important. In my humble opinion, not one of the things listed would keep you single. Or maybe they would, if you were looking for a caveman for a mate.

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  13. Rosa Payton

    I a agree with everything you have said about relationships. I am if I see inside and out everything they say about Pisces I have never heard one that was wrong all the one person once said we were not loyal and that is something that is told to me over and over again is that Pisces are very loyal. But we also are daydreamers, Fairy Tail believers, happily ever Afters. My problem is with Intimacy… I was in a car wreck and 2003 and I have not yet been able to bring sexy back. I am scared to be in a relationship Because of the fear I would not be able to make someone happy. But I have always longed for my daddy to walk me down the aisle and for me to give sex to that one man I will grow old with. I guess call me old school. I want someone so bad it hurts but the moment they realized I have a little disability which causes me to walk with a crutch and a hormone deficiency which causes me to have to take a lot of medicine… Men just seem to run away like oh my God that is way too much work for me. You want to know what I truly truly want I want to marry my best friend, I want someone who makes me laugh they don’t have to be adorable in fact I don’t find that attractive but I do like someone with a nice smile. I am 38 I am too old and life is too short help me? I have been trying to do this thing called Rose’s project makeover and I am failing all over the place. Project makeovers cost a lot of money and well I’m on disability so this makeover is taking a really really long time. All I want is to be happy no no no no I take that back all I want and ask for is to be healthy and okay and OMG have someone actually truly love me inside and out. Someone who really cares about how I’m feeling just as much as I care about how they are. What do I do?

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