Have you ever fallen for the “Bad Boy”? He may have seemed exciting (and even a little dangerous) at first, but he ended up being a user or a loser. Whatever the situation, getting into a bad relationship can happen to anyone. However, it doesn’t have to happen again. You don’t have to waste your time on the wrong guy. He are five tips to banish the “Bad Boy” from your life for good!
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1. Get Over the Allure of “Bad”
So many movies have the “Bad Boy” lead. Many of us can relate because we’ve fallen for him. He’s totally wrong—and totally intriguing. But someone who keeps you guessing or inspires bad behavior isn’t someone who can ever be a true partner. And they’re definitely not someone who has your best interest in mind.
2. Trust Your Gut
Don’t ignore the red flags. If you’re entering into a relationship with someone—a friendship, romantic relationship or even a mentorship—understand that those little nagging things that bother you in the beginning may also come back to bite you down the road. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.
3. Know Your Deal Breakers
If you don’t have a mental list of qualities or situations that are just not okay with you, make one stat! Having a benchmark for your relationships that people must meet in order to make it into your inner circle is crucial for keeping out the wrong kinds of friends and lovers. Value yourself enough to only allow high quality people to have your time and attention.
4. Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries is the foundation for any healthy relationship. For instance, perhaps a new friend of yours constantly texts you venting about her life, her husband, her work—anything she can complain about—at all hours of the day. Instead of responding right away and commiserating, let her know that you’d prefer to talk in person when you’re due to grab coffee next. This way, you don’t reinforce her negative stream of consciousness clogging your inbox, and you can give her the opportunity to change her behavior. Boundaries help you evaluate if a person truly is wrong for you or not.
5. Don’t Give Them Endless Chances
While it’s important to give people the benefit of the doubt and practice empathy, you should never feel obligated to allow someone to use you, abuse you or simply drain you just for the sake of keeping the relationship afloat. Give new people a chance to show you who they really are—and if you end up not liking them, it’s more than okay to distance yourself or completely cut them off. This is your life, after all.
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