5 Good Lessons From Bad Dates

Lessons From Bad Dates

Shaping Your Romantic Future

In an ideal world, every potential suitor you meet and every date you go on is full of romance and promise. But in reality, this is not the case. In fact, you may find yourself burnt out from a litany of boring dinners with people you could never see yourself settling down with. Worse, you may even experience some totally terrible dates that make you want to throw in the towel on love entirely.

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Bad Dates are Good Lessons

Instead of letting yourself succumb to disappointment, realize that even bad dating experiences can be super helpful for shaping your romantic future. Here are five good lessons to learn from all those bad dates you seem to keep going on.

1. You Learn to Recognize What You Want in Another Person
Bad dates teach us what kinds of people and behaviors turn us on and turn us off. You may think you want to end up with the brooding, artsy type, but once you date one you may discover they don’t jive with your personality. Or, you may think you can give up a sense of humor for a great face and a chiseled body, only to discover you really do need someone who can make you laugh.

2. You Learn to Have a Sense of Humor About Your Love Life
Laughing in the face of romantic misadventure is an important life skill. While finding the right person is a serious endeavor, you still need to be able to laugh at the crazy situations (and people) you’ll inevitably encounter on your path to true love. Being lighthearted about the whole process will not only make it more fun, it will also allow you to let your guard down when you finally meet someone great.

3. You Learn to Recognize the Red Flags
Dating duds allows you to recognize the red flags in potential mates. The more people you date, the more behavior patterns you’ll recognize—both unsavory and pleasant alike. And the more accustomed you get to recognizing the bad behaviors, the sooner you’ll be able to jump ship and continue your search for the right person.

4. You Learn That Not Every Person You Date Has to Be “The One”
Don’t look at every date as having the potential to be “the one.” It puts a lot of pressure on the person you’re meeting, and it can take the fun out of dating. Maybe after a few dating disasters you’ll realize that most people you date won’t be “the one,” but until then go out with the mindset that you are going to have fun meeting someone new.

5. You Learn What Kind of Partner You’ll Be
As you go through the ups and downs you’ll discover who you want to be as a partner. For example, if you date someone who’s super clingy, you may recoil and act cold. That’s not how you want to be in a relationship, so perhaps it’s best to avoid a clingy partner in the future. Or, if you’re dating someone who’s super standoffish, you might find yourself begging for their attention. You probably don’t want to be that kind of partner either, so avoid a standoffish partner in the future.

Dating the wrong people can be wonderful for your self-improvement. As annoying as the wrong person can be, they can teach you a lot about yourself and ultimately help you find a great relationship in the future.

2 thoughts on “5 Good Lessons From Bad Dates

  1. Susan

    Debster! This could be interesting if people join in!
    My two experiences were on Kik. I was a newbie and pretty naive. After receiving a ton of nudie penis pix I finally met an amazing man! Gorgeous! Fitness Instrustor in the Army, smart, so funny and witty. Really made me feel like I wanted to be a girly girl. You know, all feminine buying silky things I haven’t bought in a long time.
    I fell head over heels! He said he loved me. A month in he tells and shows me a picture of his gorgeous little girl. 3 weeks after that he tells me he is married but he’s going to counseling to find a way to tell his wife. Bought it hook line and sinker. I’m in Canada and he’s in Hawaii. He surprised me by booking a trip to see me! Well instead he just dumped me! Lol No good bye, f you, nothing. He’s a serial online dater ‘sexter’. I was heart broken. I’m a little wiser and a little less trusting now, the last part I find sad.

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  2. Debster

    That is some good advice, well written & appreciated!

    How ’bout we exchange dating disasters in this thread?

    Pretty typical start, Plenty Of Fish online. We exchange emails for a while then agree to meet for lunch. This guy is nervous, I mean, practically breaking into a sweat. This was not the ‘wow, you’re pretty and that makes me nervous,’ kinda energy, it was more like he was a felon on the run. He kept looking at the door, then asked if we could move tables. He moved us THREE times, still he keeps his eye on the door, nervous as a cat riding a dogsled. He’s completely ignoring me, responding only with, “uh huh… yeah,” while he keeps his eye on the door. Conclusion: LIAR – Married and trying to play, but scared to death either one of his or his wife’s coworkers will walk in. I put a five dollar bill on the table to pay for my iced tea and told him to give it up or I’d track him down and send a letter to his wife. Guy turned sheet white, seriously, I thought his eyes were going to roll up into the back of his head and he’d keel over. I walked out and never heard from him again, he took his profile of the dating site, tho… 😉

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