10 Ways to Spot a Keeper

We know what a tool looks like. Here are the ten common traits sported by a genuinely nice guy, which I consider a “real man,” by the way:

1. They’re always willing to help you out. If it is at all in their power, they’ll be there when you need them. No matter if it is for crying, venting, fixing a sink, painting, or moving. Which leads to:

2. They know the true meaning of friendship. Nice guys not only get the meaning of friendship, but they honor it. They’ll stand up for you, protect you and respect you. A nice guy never turns on his woman.

3. They look beneath the surface. Most nice guys have been to the dark side and returned. This means that they’ve had their share of dishonest, crazy or mean women. Even though men are visual, a good guy will not base his relationships solely on superficial things, i.e. the size of a woman’s boobs. There is nothing superficial about a nice guy!

4. They own up to their shortcomings. All nice guys will always try to take the high road, instead of getting worked up. If they get jealous, or insecure, they may not immediately tell you, but they will let you know… IN A NICE AND RESPECTFUL WAY! Nice guys don’t have a chip on their shoulder.

5. They are considerate, and they respect you. These are still men we are talking about here, so they will probably forget stuff. But the nice guys will know how much certain things mean to you, i.e. watering the plants, or whatever else is important to you, that couldn’t be more unimportant to him. He does it, because he pays attention, and because he values and respects your needs.

6. You are his top priority, especially your well-being and safety!  I remember being stood up after returning from the ER for WoW by an ex, and how terribly hurt I was. I recently had to go to the ER again. My husband dropped what he was doing, came to pick me up, brought me home and “watched over me.” For the truly nice guy, you are not merely another point on the “to-do list.”

7. You can talk to him about anything. Men don’t like discussing feelings. It’s as simple as that. But the good guys acknowledge that most of us women do, and don’t have an issue listening to you. A truly good guy knows that friendship is important in a relationship.

8. They are secure enough with themselves without being arrogant, and the insecurities they do have are not running rampant. Real men don’t start brawls, they are not paranoid and they don’t project their issues on another.

9. They don’t look down on others or have a superiority complex. A real man doesn’t keep friends for the sake of making himself look better. He doesn’t badmouth his friends or his woman and he doesn’t put blame on everyone else for past failures.

10. Their heart is open. It’s as simple as that. A real man is neither closed off, nor indifferent, disillusioned, cold, unsympathetic or mean. A good men will have an open heart that has enough room to fit you in. He won’t just tell you that he loves you, he will show it!

The most important thing here is that you will not doubt a good guy. This is because he shows his heart and thoughts by his actions. A real man has integrity, is honest and stands by his word. He is the kind of guy that people like spending time with. He is by no means perfect, but he always tries do be the best he can. When he screws up, he doesn’t give up, he gets back up.

A real man doesn’t ignore you, flirt or drool over others in front of you, doesn’t cheat and doesn’t run at the smallest sign of trouble. Integrity, respect, kindness and honesty are the key words to describe a good guy and a real man! The good guys are simply the opposite of a self-centered, dishonest, insecure and definitely not worthwhile jerk!

19 thoughts on “10 Ways to Spot a Keeper

  1. mad sad

    reat, great article!!! The law of attraction tells us to focus on what we do WANT & this is exactly the type of men we should be ‘attracting into our lives’.

    Reply
  2. some guy

    You forgot to add that you’ll have to interest in him and friend zone him at the earliest opportunity. The “keeper” will watch you hook up with faux hawk sperry wearing assclowns until he finally decides that you’re a shallow slut and gives up on you. Unfortunately that’s the #1 indicator he’s good for you – no interest.

    Reply
  3. Alyssa

    Yes, from the looks of things, my husband will probably be younger than me because the one’s my age and older have been douchebags

    Reply
  4. lazlo underhill

    #11 – You won’t be at all attracted to him. Not now, or ever. You’ll find any number of reasons to justify this, but deep down inside, you’ll know that what you find attractive in a man has nothing to do with the way he treats you, and everything to do with how he treats himself.

    Reply
  5. sumish

    what in hell you all finding difference in niceguy huh . you want a good man its right here its a nice guy you dont know what its feel like being one of them. everybody knows women cant stand by herself ya she needs to be protected what in the world you all think we nice guys cant protect you no guys ever be the same after his marriage. dont ever say say us a doormat or pushover cos you women are weaker than us guys .. die in hell you stupid women you all are fake

    Reply
  6. misskrystalmisskrystal

    Very inspirational, Ms. Carmen. Thanks.
    I am very happy for you that you are in a wonderful relationship, with a sweet man. You mention some very important traits here…..You are always trying to help in the most positive ways. Your posts are like daily/or weekly affirmations. I have been finding myself fixated on reading them…Please be flattered!
    Cheers,
    Miss krystal

    Reply
  7. Jacqueline

    Hi Carmen,

    Love your articles, as many of you have said, finding a nice guy is so rare but they are out there, once you have one hang on to them.
    I have seen too many times where woman will go into the self sabotage mode because they don’t feel worthy of the kindness and truthfully cant handle it, we say we want the nice guy but don’t know what to with them once they have them.

    Remember when you go into the manifesting come from the joy of already having the great understanding, kind, loving guy, get excited, be happy within it, then watch him come in….
    Blessings and Big Hugs!
    Jacqueline x9472

    Reply
  8. Carmen Hexe

    Oh yes, Gina Rose! I know plenty of females who prefer a jerk, because they consider the stand-offish, unavailable player more “mysterious.” They still mistake “nice” with “doormat.” In Germany we called it the “a**hole theory.” I know plenty of females who will choose the broken, immature and crazy guy over the nice and solid one. The same women then complain about not being able to find a single nice guy.

    I am married to a nice guy 🙂 Luckily for me, I got over the “bad boy” attraction. I guess, the older I got, the more I started valuing true character, versus a certain look. But then, I am also blessed because Andrew also sports the look I like 😀

    Reply
  9. thelovelyducklingthelovelyduckling

    Great article, Carmen! You are dead on as to what a real man is! Of the ones I know, most of them are taken by some pretty smart women who recognized them for what they are! I know only a few keepers who are not attached, and there is plenty of competition trying to snatch them up.

    I agree with you, too, Gina Rose…being nice is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of self-respect and self-love, respect for and understanding of women, and the ability and willingness to treat another as an equal. Unfortunately, some of the really nice men I know were egregiously taken advantage of.

    Reply
  10. velvetoversteel

    Great, great article!!! The law of attraction tells us to focus on what we do WANT & this is exactly the type of men we should be ‘attracting into our lives’.

    I also like that you point out that ‘they are not perfet’ too. None of us are. But I think this post if Perfect!

    I ‘picture’ myself with someone wonderful and this post gives many specific areas to focus on, or picture in my mind, to attacked and Spot a Keeper! Thank you so much!

    Reply
  11. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi Carmen,

    Right on !!!!!!

    AND, if you are lucky enough to find a nice guy…treat him right,….. and don’t mistake nice for weak.

    Some women I’ve come across have walked all over nice guys, mistaking ” nice ” for ” weak “……
    …. ladies ” nice ” usually equates to ” mature ” !!!!

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply

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