10 Mistakes That Turn Off the Men You Desire

mistakes that turn off men

There are 10 common mistakes that turn off the man in the relationship. Learn how to avoid these pitfalls with expert Matthew Hussey from Get the Guy.

MISTAKE #1: Switching to “Relationship Mode” too quickly

Have you noticed how a guy completely changes when you get past the dating phase and the issue of having a relationship comes up? Of course you have. But let me tell you now, you can control exactly how he reacts to this. A man’s desire for a relationship depends completely on the way you handle the early stages, starting from the FIRST DATE! The secret to getting a guy is not about wearing a man down until he finally gives in and submits to a relationship. It’s about building so much intrigue and attraction in the early stages that he literally begs you to be exclusive with him.

MISTAKE #2: Asking him where you stand

Don’t you hate it when you’ve been on a few dates with a guy but have no idea whether he sees you as a girlfriend or just as someone he wants to sleep with? Sometimes it’s so frustrating that you even think: “You know what, I’ll just ask him straight up what he wants, and then I’ll know for sure.” NOT GONNA WORK. I want to save you from making this mistake now, because confronting a guy in this way will send his attraction for you plummeting to the floor. In the early stages of dating it’s vital to keep your high value status. Guys are prone to irrational panic and this will just freak him out and make him feel the walls closing in.

Love psychics can answer questions and give you love advice!

MISTAKE #3: Listening to all of his relationship problems

I know what you’re thinking: “If I listen to the problems with his past relationships, I can find out how to be his perfect woman”. But take my word for this, IT WILL NEVER WORK! I know guys who have tried this too, it never works. Letting a man spill his guts to you about past relationship issues makes you his therapist. And trust me, the therapist role is very UNSEXY. And soon he’ll be sharing his NEW relationship problems with you… and you won’t be in them.

MISTAKE #4: Agreeing with everything he says

In an attempt “not to make waves”, you might think that all you have to do is agree with him and nod along to whatever he says. I’ve seen this with both guys and women and it’s always a turnoff. This might make you a great friend, but it will never build sexual chemistry. Only a “challenging woman” can turn a guy on mentally and sexually. By this I don’t mean “play hard to get”, which is the other huge mistake women make in order to get men to chase them. It’s so easy to have more choice in your love life, as soon as you hear the simple difference between being hard to get, and BEING A CHALLENGE. And trust me, once you do, you will be EFFORTLESSLY ATTRACTIVE to men.

MISTAKE #5: Trying to logically convince him why you’re both right for each other

Ever tried to convince and show someone why you would be absolutely perfect for them? Yup, we’ve all given it a try. Only one problem….Attraction has NEVER been based on logic. Think about it: How many times have you seen men go for women that logically he knows are completely wrong for him? I know I have (hell, I’ve done it myself!). Why do those women manage to attract guys so easily, even though he knows you would be better for him in the long run? Because these women understand that SEDUCTION is different to PERSUASION. Falling in love isn’t about rational persuasion. Trying to convince someone they are right for us will never work.

MISTAKE #6: Thinking that sex is your only tool of seduction

Ever had a guy who pressured you for sex and then wasn’t bothered about the relationship after you had it? Why? If he wanted sex, then surely if you gave it to him, he would like you more, right? Afraid not. Men might be simple, but we’re not THAT SIMPLE! Because sex is NOT what a man is really after. Sex is a temporary need that men want to fulfill, but it doesn’t hold them for very long. In fact, a relationship that is only sexual will soon have a man looking elsewhere. Using your sexuality doesn’t mean simply having sex with a guy. A guy may think he wants sex early on, but if there’s going to be a later on you have to learn how to BE SEXY, which is a whole different ball game.

MISTAKE #7: Dropping your plans for the guy you like

You remember those times when the guy you like calls you up, and you immediately want to drop any plans you have to go and see him? This is the epitome of NEEDY behavior. I’ve coached lots of women who are fine with getting attraction in the early stages, but within a couple of weeks the guy seems to just “go cold” and loses interest. What’s the deal with that?? It’s because once they decide they like him, they suddenly change those things that made them so alluring in the first place. They show their hand too early. Guys may not always be that perceptive, but they have a sixth sense for noticing when a woman is desperate for a relationship. As soon as he senses it, he’ll slowly drop off the radar.

MISTAKE #8: Sharing all your insecurities and relationship issues

Sharing your worries about your weight, or your relationship issues, or apologizing for your outfit being inappropriate, all spells insecurity. Some women will share this stuff in order to FISH FOR COMPLIMENTS, which is completely poisonous to a guys chances of genuinely liking them. Guys love COMPLIMENTING, but they hate REASSURING women. If you spill about all your personal hang ups and insecurities, you’ve lost all the sexual chemistry, because suddenly he’ll NOTICE that you don’t find yourself sexy. Give yourself more credit!

MISTAKE #9: Waiting for him to make all the moves

Even though we are in the 21st century, still many women think they have to adopt a passive role, waiting for the guy to make all the next moves. GET WITH THE TIMES! But hold on, you don’t want to seem desperate right? I mean, you can’t be just waltzing up to guys and tell them you fancy them, can you? Fortunately, there are some ridiculously simple ways to pick out the guy you really want, and STILL make him think he’s done all the chasing. Sounds, good right? All you have to do is give him OPPORTUNITIES, and make him think it was ALL HIS IDEA. This way, you aren’t left waiting for a guy to ask you out, but you also don’t seem desperate. It all just happens naturally.

MISTAKE #10: Getting advice from the wrong sources

Ever notice how we often take advice from people who have the worst love lives? Most of us get our advice from our best friends, despite the fact that we KNOW they are HOPELESS and just as CLUELESS as we are! It’s like the blind leading the blind out there! When you get advice from bad sources, you can end up struggling around for years trying to get it right, and then wondering why the same problems seem to reoccur over and over again. Your love life becomes like a broken record, and you hope that somehow things will just magically be different one day. Unfortunately, they won’t. Not unless you CHANGE YOUR APPROACH. Who wants to keep fumbling around in the dark for another 10, maybe 20 years??!

When you learn the right techniques for creating instant attraction, your love life takes leaps that would have taken you years to make on your own (and chances are, you wouldn’t even do it then!).

I don’t want you to make mistakes I’ve seen so many women make.

To discover what the future holds for your love life, talk to a love psychic today or learn more about psychic love readings now!

27 thoughts on “10 Mistakes That Turn Off the Men You Desire

  1. Lemuel Badcoe

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    Reply
  2. Crystle Selfe

    I am in fact pleased to glance at this blog posts which
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    Reply
  3. MaryAnn

    I was thinking i was the only woman on the planet that had a cold fish… My man and i have been together 3 yrs. engaged 2 of those years. He is gone a lot with his job which sucks by the way. He says he has no desire?? but.. he will jack off?? Really??He never pays me any attention, gone all week and comes home and stays on computer all day, all night, then he says he is tired?? He expects me to sit here and wait??? uh hhhhh NOT!!He is not romantic at all.never sends flowers or cards, nothing? what the hell do i do?? I am emotionally detaching. I don:t want to get my heart broke and yet i think it has already happened.He has been married before as i have. His marriage was not good.My marriage lasted 25 yrs. My husband passed away 5 yrs ago. Why does he have no sense of love and affection?I;m confused.Should i leave now or wait it out?Im tired of being lonely and always waiting?? For what??? It;s same old song and dance.never changes.He is very defensive.I have asked him if he was cheating? He said no..why do they have to be so complicated and insensitive? 🙁

    Reply
  4. Tiff

    Are you stupid? Three of these lead to manipulating a relationship just like something out of a romantic comedy. The others only hold a truth to SOME guys. Everyone is different and you have to feel each person out. Instead of listening to this half-baked gunk from a B list RC movie read some ACTUAL science in a few psychology journals, and learn your communication type and others (reflective, supportive, directive and emotive). DON’T listen to this and take it to heart. It’s advice like this that creates SURFACE relationships and not lasting ones. Yes they are right about not being a constant baby, but reassuring each other is part of life. There’s a reason there are more divorces now than ever before and it’s bad advice like this. Take the advice given to you in Mistake 10. Don’t get advice from the wrong places like here.

    Reply
  5. Pingback: Tips On How To Get A Guy To Want You Back | Girl Gets Ring

  6. yvonne

    I have been so lucky in my life to have had long term relationships with some of the most incredible men I’ve ever met. I was always the one who wasn’t ready to commit, and I was terrified of being “owned” or controlled in any way. Luckily, I am still friends with most of them, and I’ve seen them go through numerous women who are beautiful, intelligent, witty, successful, etc. What I’ve learned is that, no matter how much you want to be with a man or how attractive he finds you, it is more important for you to be honest with youself about why you want to be with him specifically. Many women try to convince themselves that they want to be with a man because he’s kind, attractive, interesting, etc, yet they really know nothing about him other than what he looks like or what he does for a living. Men can instinctively tell when a woman is genuinely interested in him as a person. (The same applies for women) All of us want to be recognized for our accomplishments and feel that we are interesting and worthy. If you try to attract him for any reason other than a genuine interest in him as a person, he will feel uncomfortable and leave. Any attempt at trying to make yourself more interesting ar alluring will fell to him like a head game, which will ruin your chances. A successful relationship is based on how your partner makes you feel about yourself, not just how we feel about them. Find common interests and ways to give a different perspective on things that he may not have considered before. Challenge each other to grow, and be willing to learn new things and find new things to do together to avoid getting bogged down in a routine that will get old fast.
    Most importantly, be true to yourself and be willing to reconsider what you want if he isn’t the person who is right for you. “know thyself” and compose a list of characteristics that you desire in a mate. For me, I need a man who is creative, compassionate, comfortable with who he is, passionate about what he does, willing to understand and accept me for who I am – not who he thinks I can be, who enjoys stimulating and thoguht provoking conversations, has a spontaneous streak, and truly enjoys my company. Most importantly, I want him to feel comfortable enough to speak up about anything that bothers him to avoid problems caused by lack of communication. I want him to challenge my ideas and see solutions rather than focusing on problems. I want a friend, partner, confidante, lover, and the understanding that I don’t want to own him or change him. In the last month, I have literally met more fascinating and attractive single men who exceed my expectations. Now, it’s up to me. I feel like a teenager again, dating for the first time! How fun and exciting this will be.

    Reply
  7. Katrina

    I couldn’t agree with you more, Gina Rose…..

    Very very useful and sound tips.

    Warmest wishes – and I would also add: Being true to yourself; staying in your power; not making the guy your meaning of living and not losing yourself in the relationship or looking for the guy to “save you.” Be happy, be strong, don’t doubt yourself!! Stay focussed on your own goals and don’t let the relationship “take over” your life!

    Easier said then done – sometimes…..(;

    In power,

    Katrina xo

    Reply
  8. Lorelei

    Most of this is pretty much common sense. However, if I have to tap dance around and play games so the guy “thinks it was all his idea” then I reject him for being such a wussy game player himself!

    If you dig each other, you dig each other. Don’t play stupid games! (insert eye roll here)

    I find that if you just play it by ear and don’t go into things with high expectations, it will fall into place how it should one way or another.

    Reply
  9. sarah

    wow. with as much respect as possible, i think you’re own psyche could use a little work … just find it boggling that you think it’s appropriate, let alone even feasible, to be an “expert” of/on others (especially of women).

    Reply
  10. Samantha Harper

    Personally, I dont listen to what other people say about relationships. I listen to the psychic that I read with, and she has helped me more with my relationship advice then any of my friends ever will. My friends, alot of times give me the worse advice in the world.

    Reply
  11. Kutie

    Hey Matt… Ihear where you’re coming from, and I can honestly say you are correct for the MOST part, ..but (there’s ALWAYS a “but”) you can’t put ALL men in the same catagory, Love and Sex seems to make the world go round, on a continual basis……. and if there were any simple answers out there, I’m sure we wouldn’t have any problems meeting our eternal “match”

    Reply
  12. sonia

    vety informative article. but how to be this woman who is challenging and thinks herself to be sexy and is not needy. When the time comes you forget all about these points and be yourself.which is wat exactly turns off men.

    Reply
  13. sonya

    Hussey,

    I think and thank you, you are amazingly right about a lot to be so young yourself-teehee. And this stuff will always be clock work time, after time, after time, but as time moves, people are born and grow up and follow the same ‘ole mistakes, generation after generation getting the same results, so this is and always will be a marketable quest to keep us Women AND Men abreast to keeping our mental, emotional and physical and soul in tact as we grow into mature adulthood and become better as adults. I am very thankful for you. God bless u and ur family!

    Reply
  14. mary

    I so much Love the 10 tips in getting an ideal guy without making those mistakes women makes, I would like to watch the videos also the gift

    Reply
  15. Shirley Wadley

    I enjoyed reading your research and tips on relationships and feel like I have the insights on what to do when beginning a new relationship and I hope this year I will get the man I want and need and keep him.
    Thanks,
    Shirley

    Reply
  16. Courtney

    I think YOU ARE WRONG.. Well not really, you are right, but it’s disgusting that you are.. lol

    So here is what I don’t get… I am fucking hot.. and I don’t have a problem getting a guy to take me out.. but your a psychic.. I am powerful, I am aware.. and I do not put up with bullshit.. I tell men laughingly all the things they later might judge me for, bc I feel like.. if you don’t accept this now, you sure as hell aren’t REALLY going to accept it later.. TIME IS SHORT.. so i put myself out there..

    RECENTLY though.. i have been meeting like more… I’ve never talked to ANYONE as deeply spiritually as i have the last 25 dates or so in my entire life.. I see the light in their eyes, their heart pound faster as I can see their pulse in their neck.. entice, fascinated, mesmerized by me..

    So here is the kicker.. I felt it, they did too,, I had the most deep mind blowing sex I’ve had ever.. and it literally took up both somewhere else together for like 30 min.. he fell off the face of the earth.. and so did the rest of them.. I know my energy is to say the least, alluring, enticing, hypnotic.. but it’s like i put them in a trance.. but yet they relate to me.. i just don;t get it.. my bday is 12-12-83.. Do i just shell shock them, or like short their circuits.. or can they honestly be lying.. i mean fuck I thought I’d seen every game out there.. i mean is this some new bs game you men like act like you are all into energy, and changing the world for the better.. i mean. WTF… If so.. I’m guess I will just be alone which I am fine with.. i’m just honestly trying to make a connection that will become whatever it does.. so i can be with someone I trust and not have to cut through bullshit when my “Cameron Diaz” career takes off.. .. lol not worth the hassle.. a dildo is just as nice.. lol

    so YOU KNOW 2012 IS ABOUT LOVE, BEING VULNERABLE, AND MOVING BACK INTO A MORE MATRIARCHAL SOCIETY..

    Reply
  17. Loretta

    I’d like to get the guy I have been dating to tell me he loves me. He hints around it and talks to me all day eveyday, fixes everything around the house, spends time with my son, jokingly says marry me, but never says I love you. He says I’m cool to hang out with and he enjoys my company and I never stop amazing him.

    Reply
  18. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi,
    This guy REALLY knows his stuff !!!!!!

    I teach my own clients the very same thing and have for years…..every single gal out there should read these tips.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply

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