You’re Settling, What Gives?

Are You Giving Up On Yourself?

It seems to me that there can be a number of reasons why we settle. However, the number one common factor seems to be a fear of abandonment or being alone. Many of us stay in unfullfilling, worn-out relationships just to have “someone” in our lives. Worse yet, many of us continue to pursue relationships with individuals who “never show up.”

We are all born with intuition, the “fight or flight” signals that go off when we’re in a situation that does not suit us. More importantly, the pains of anxiety cripple us and leave us stuck, sad and confused! Why is it that we’re willing to settle or remain in a unhappy situation? The change must come from ourselves. We must first take a honest look at what it is that’s making us unhappy and realize that through finding our own power we find our happiness. Truth and clarity bring peace and balance. When your spirit is aligned, true love will arrive.

When we settle our spirit fights us! Our spirit is much stronger than our physical selves. Our spirit seeks to give and receive love without expectation or reservation and seeks the same from those we are in relationship with. Don’t fight your spirit, listen to your intuition believe in yourself.

We have all been in a situation where we have settled. I urge you to make positive changes in your energy to ensure yours needs are being met. Sometimes it can be as simple as changing your thought process. Start each day with a prayer or meditation dedicated to you. Declare to yourself and the universe that you will no longer settle and that you are clear you want and deserve to be honored and adored! Change is possible, settling should never be a option. I think settling is the difference between what you want or dream of… and how hard you are willing to work for it!

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7 thoughts on “You’re Settling, What Gives?

  1. Danni, ext 5193

    Thank you all for your feedback and comments on the article :).

    Truthbeknown, I believe for all of us “settling” is subjective… I think we all “know” when we are settling. If you are not happy and yet refuse to do anything to change it??? I would say, “you are settling, what gives”????

    Love and Light!!!!!!!

  2. Dena

    Bravo, Mark Taylor … I did read what you wrote, and I agree. 🙂

    Who can say what is “settling”? I agree, never “settle” … but no one outside of us can determine what that may be.

    I will not settle for less than my soul’s purpose … but that may have nothing to do with our culture’s romantic, fairy-tale expectations of what we think we “deserve” … or “happily ever after.”

    Deep relationships are often about growth, not just “being happy” … happiness is but one of a multitude of emotions that humans experience … for me to label some emotions “good/welcome” and some “bad/unwelcome” is to become hemiplegic to my full humanity! If I squelch the “bad” emotions/experiences, I also dull the “good” emotions/experiences … it takes both postivity and negativity to enable the universe itself to exist.

    I am here to experience it all … ala Rumi’s “The Guest House” … every emotion, every experience, every encounter is a messenger to me, and therefore welcome (though I often resist, and need to continuously remind myself, when the painful “guests” arrive).

    An authentically intimate relationship will “trigger” my deepest wounds, my core beliefs, my hidden shadows, and bring them to the surface … this does not usually feel “good”…! It often feels like open-soul surgery, without any anesthesia. And yet, love would say, “I trust you – I welcome you into my depths – I give you permission to love me enough to mirror my depths back to me, so that I may know myself in ways I cannot on my own … and I shall do the same for you.”

    I did not stand in the “stupid-happy” line for this lifetime … I apparently stood in the “gimme full-throttle, roller-coastery, deep-saturation” line. It’s wild. It’s real. It’s often gut-kickingly, double-overingly PAINful … as in exquisite agony. But also excruciatingly delicious.

    I want authentic intimacy. I will not settle for merely “happy.”

    Nope. No way. Nuh-uh.

  3. truthbeknown


    good article. what would you say are the signs of settling? and what’s the difference between settling and acceptance in your opinion?

  4. Kimberly

    I believe this is so true too. I think that I am just over the threshold of living for me and it feels so good and I feel so much better. It is astounding how if we are not conscious others will consume us with their desires. I am determined to focus on my internal happiness and not settle out of fear. Alone is good because you can step back and look at everything and evaluate. Thank you : ).

  5. misskrystalmisskrystal

    Hi Danni! Wow- is this food for thought!
    So glad to see you on here. I really enjoyed this post.
    Happy Valentines Day! Thanks. Miss Krystal

  6. Mark Taylor UK

    As a person who has seen, felt and experienced so much love good and bad I realised that seeking eternal bliis is a false start, we have to take a long hard look at ourselve’s before we can judge others let alone demand they fill our criteria and therefore make us happy, if they fill our criteria only to please us only then they are spiritually unhappy and the cracks will appear soon after. It is all about acceptance not only of them but ourselve’s, finding fault is a western disease, we read to much rubbish, digest to much television and eventually believe that happy ever after is to follow that lead! It is not, it is about learning about ourselve’s first, being happy in our skin, which is a hard journey to take sometimes! I know I am living that journey now, only then will the walls of ignorance which we created fall down to reveal a happier truth, our own illusion of happiness is that an illusion. If we become understanding, we become tolerant, we become lovable and the lover! I hope this makes sense! Hey I am only a man! Do people ever read these comments we write? I hope so, but in writing them it helps me and builds my healing process. Good luck!

  7. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    I agree with Danni…..never settle.

    You will look back someday and regret it if you do. Be stubborn in holding out for what you really want…..because you deserve only the best.


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