3 Steps to Connect to the Spirit World

Staying Connected With a Loved One Who “Died”

Benjamin Franklin once wrote in a letter to Jean-Baptiste Leroy, “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” No one looks forward to either of these things.

As a Spiritualist Minister and a medium, I can attest to the fact that life does continue after the change we call death! It is understood that when someone dies, his or her physical body ceases to live on. However, their spirit or soul does live on! How do I know this? I talk to them every day! I see them, hear them and feel them. At times I even smell them, whether it’s their perfume, a favorite flower and even cigar smoke! As a medium this is second nature to me, but the good news is that it can be for you too!

No matter our spiritual practice, it is quite difficult to lose the physical presence of a loved one—the day-to-day comfort of hearing his or her voice, seeing them smile or receiving a hug. Perhaps our relationship with them was not that simple. Maybe it was tarnished by life stress. Either way, be assured that your relationship with your loved one not only continues but it can even improve!

Here are three ways you can start or restart your relationship with someone who now lives on in the world of spirit:

1. Make a special memorial altar in your home or yard

In modern culture many of us visit cemeteries to talk to our loved ones. What if I told you that you don’t need to make the trip that far just to connect? In many cultures there is also the practice of creating a sacred altar or memorial space for loved ones who have crossed into the world of Spirit.

Find a special space. It can be in a corner of a room or any place that lends itself to reflection. Here are some ideas for what to put on your memorial altar. (What is most important is that whatever is there assists you in remembering or thinking of your loved one.):

• Photographs of your loved one

• A piece of their jewelry or other mementos (tie clips, cuff links, a sewing thimble, etc.). Be creative. Even if you don’t have something that belonged to them, you can place something that reminds you of them.

• A candle. (Be sure it is either in glass or you can get the new battery operated candles.)

• Fresh or dried flowers. (Who doesn’t like something pretty?)

2. Make offerings daily

A great way to nurture your relationship is to tend to this altar daily. In some cultures they still feed the altar every day for a year,bringing water and food. Others have a practice of feeding their ancestors a small portion of every meal they eat. It can be as simple or elaborate as you want. Did your loved one enjoy tea or coffee? Bring them a cup when you make some for yourself! Did they have a favorite snack? Go ahead and make that popcorn and share it with your loved one by placing just a small amount in a bowl on that altar.

3. Take time each day to visit that altar space

Sit with them and talk to them. Sing them a favorite song. This too can be as simple or formal as you wish. Sometimes you may want to talk about your day. Other times you may want to complain about your boss! Talk to this loved one the same way you talked to them when they lived with you in a physical body. This may feel a bit awkward at first, but believe me, before long you will start feeling and hearing them too.

They’re still around and they’re trying to get you attention. You hear if when the chimes blow without wind or in any other noises that don’t seem to have a source. You may even feel them standing near you. It’s not just your imagination! Your loved ones live among you still and if you create a memorial altar and attend to it daily, you will know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, your loved one not only lives but continues to actively LOVE you

29 thoughts on “3 Steps to Connect to the Spirit World

  1. kimberly

    Hi Aisha, I think your article was beautiful about leaving an alter set up for your loved one! I recently lost the love of my life, my husband, back in July 2014, I always kept 2 alters set up for him in my living room! One on our fireplace with his picture, I chose the picture from the day we got married back in april 1999, because he was so happy and handsome! the other space is a memorial to him from being a vietnam veteran with his flag that I received and his military picture! I do talk to him every day and weather its crazy or not I kiss his picture every morning to say good morning, and everynight to say goodnight! I let him know how Im feeling every Day! and to tell him how terribly I miss him! We were truly soulmates and meant to be together! Sometimes I feel as If I can’t go on anymore without him!! We never had any of our own children together, but he did have one son, my stepson, who I think the world of and love very much. he has a family of his own 2 sons, my step grandchildren, who I love very much also! I know that my husband is around me at all times when I’m home, this was our house that we got together 2 yrs. after we were married, and he was always so very proud of it and what we accomplished together!! he loved his home and our life together what we made of it!!

  2. Mary

    I lover this article. Once while I was having breakfast alone, I looked at my departed brother and mum and was talking to them. The same night, my mum came into my dream and brother the day next. What does it mean ? I was told they need our prayers .

  3. Sandra

    Recently having found my paternal grandfather whom I never knew, he passed in 1929, I feel he is with me. It almost feels as though he is standing beside me or in the room with me. I talk to him in my mind and sometimes out loud, but nothing ever happens. I have a picture of him so I know I look exactly like him, as my father did also. I would love to get some type of response from him, but I feel he doesn’t hear me. Is there any way I can work further to get to him and let him know that I am his granddaughter, perhaps he doesn’t know this and that is why he is not responding to me. Thank you,

  4. Pat

    Love the comments,questions,and responses Aisha. I lost my only daughter four years ago to a ruptured brain aneurysm. We had chatted about half an hour before she collapsed and died, all was well. She left behind a 2 year old daughter (now 6) who misses her Mommy very much.
    I have an alter and know she has visited me because of the closeness we shared. There is also another spirit thet is here as well, I smell cigarettes from time to time when I am home alone, and sometimes like last night smelled the scent of a wooden match burning. It was heavy in the air in both the front and back yard without the cigarette smell. From time to time I can catch a glimpse of what I presume to be a male figure, all I see is a light blue shirt and dark pants and catch movement in my peripheral vision. I would like to know these spirits who visit but not sure they are family. How do I develop the ability to know definitively who is visiting?

  5. Susan

    I lost my son on the 8th of January this year. I miss him so much. I was just wondering if you could tell me his ok? If he knows how much his missed by so many and if he was around us for his 30th birthday. I am desperate for a sign that his ok. I really hope that you are able to help me out. It would mean so much to me, just to know his ok. Thank you, Susan.

  6. misskrystalmisskrystal

    Brava, Aisha…Loved this post… I am truly enjoying your posts…Looking forward to more…Thanks,
    Miss Krystal

  7. Elizabeth

    Thank you the above article and comments have been a comfort , I lost the love of my live 2 weeks ago and finding it so differ cult to come to terms with…. I wish I could put the clock back I left so many things unspoken … I love him so much …

  8. Aisha x5865

    Hi Jane
    Rest assured that our loved ones do come around us to let us know they are okay- if you follow the suggestions in the article I bet you will feel your sister yourself before long
    Peace and Many Blessings to you and your family – may you find reassurance knowing your sister can watch over you from a place now that assists her in being of more help in ways she couldn’t be here on earth

  9. Aisha x5865

    Dear Leah
    I am glad you enjoyed the article
    Thanks for sharing your beautiful story of your mom and connecting with her
    She is around you frequently – not only in your imaginings but right beside you – loving you
    Feel her there!
    Peace and Many Blessings

  10. Aisha x5865

    Hi Melania
    I am glad you enjoyed the article and that it stirred something in your own Spirit.. listen to that stirring – it will bring you to great understanding and insight along with bringing comfort.
    It is often the simple things that we forget about, myself included. We all can connect, we just need to take the time out to do so….
    Smelling various scents can often be an indicator that Spirit is around you attempting to get your attention
    The next time you smell it just quietly acknowledge spirit and ask if they would like to sit with you for a time, sometimes the message is the simplest of them all…. communion with our departed loved ones is love…..

    Peace and Many Blessings

  11. Aisha x5865

    Thanks Melania for your comment.. I am glad you enjoyed the article and the suggestions for connecting with loved ones through the use of an altar. A place where we give honor and thanks. It is the little things that we often don’t think of at times, isn’t it? The small and simple ways which we can notice our constant connection with Spirit.
    Peace and Many Blessings

  12. Leah M. Lewis

    Hi Faith,

    I so enjoyed reading about making your deceased love one an alter. I already have a comfortable white wicker chair out on my lanai with a small white table, and on the table I have her special ash tray she always used when she use to smoke and take a break. On the back of the chair are her special pillows she had on her couch. I always look out daily and visualize her time to look at all the yellow butterflies and beautiful flowers while smoking, how she loved to be sitting outside. MY mother lived with me for `10 years before passing and I so miss our chats together. I also have an alter in my home where I can always visualize her and talk to her. I love her so much.

  13. Melania

    Great article Impressed me to tears ….. and I often feel different smells around me, such as perfume or smell of earth, sometimes (if it is quiet in the room) vribatii feel some that no know how to interpret. Thank you for this article, which is actually a lesson for us: I learned something new about the altar….

  14. Aisha x5865

    Hi Faith! Thanks for reading the article and your comment
    I agree with you about altars for connecing also with “all that is”
    In my “sanctuary” ie; place I do readings from, I have 5 different altars
    all representing different aspects of my spirituality, faith and practice as well as an ancestral altar.
    Speaking of which they are reminding me that I haven’t made anything special for that altar lately!
    Off I go!

  15. Faith ext. 9608Faith ext. 9608

    Lovely article Aisha, thank you. 🙂

    I love the idea of an altar for prayer, meditation, conversations with God/Goddess/All That Is. Creating a sacred space in your home for that purpose can bring significant changes for the better into one’s life. It’s a wonderful way to find peace, quiet and commune with the Divine.

    Blessings, Faith ext. 9608

  16. Aisha x5865

    HI Nora
    Thanks for your comment. I am glad you enjoyed the article
    yes water is a great psychic conductor and is often left on altars and used in other cultural practices to connect with departed loved ones
    Glad your dad is so active in your life!

  17. Aisha x5865

    Hi JV
    If you are smelling scents, you can simply ask who is there
    The tricky part is believing the response
    for some the response may be a name or perhaps in your minds eye you might see a description
    or you might sense a color around the person. Each cue that you get you can acknowledge and then ask to see or know more
    some people will write this down until they get into the habit of doing it more
    the biggest stumbling block is second guessing yourself
    if you see it or feel it or hear it, believe it!
    Best of luck to you

  18. Aisha x5865

    Hi Chrissi

    It doesn’t matter where they were if you were separated or not
    Loved ones are not only willing to connect with you but they love to connect with you
    Try out the exercises in the article Chrissi
    You will be happy you did

  19. Aisha x5865

    Dear Donna
    Worry not you are not crazy at all
    Your mother is sitting in the chair and talking to you-
    She is always there to assist as needed

  20. Donna

    at times I swear I can see my Mother sitting in a chair and she talks to me! Everybody seems like everyone thinks I am crazy!

  21. Chrissi

    if they were separated from you before they passed over would this still be something you could do ?


    yes, i have found so many times at my office seat,some thing is surrounding me, two days back also i smelled a unknown same smell .but i did`t catch her. how to catch her, i don`t know.who is she?.
    thanking you.
    jv ramireddy.india.

  23. Nora ext. 5891


    What a great article. I do have an altar and it is so comforting to have a place in my home for the beloved dead. I have my dad’s pipe (he loved to smoke all day) with his photograph on an altar, along with other family members who have passed. I also have one more thing on my altar and that is a large bowl of water. I was taught to have water for the spirits. I have had several overnight guests who have reported to me the next morning that they saw a man walk down the hallway from the room where the altar is. They describe my dad.


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