Why You Fell in Love With Your Boss

Boss Fantasy

Dating someone you met at work is not as taboo a subject as it used to be, and when you think about it, it’s not that hard to do. You’re surrounded by people you have something in common with—you work at the same place and you may even have the same career goals. You are surrounded by people you spend a lot of time with—at least 40 hours a week. And the more time you spend with someone, the closer you’ll feel to them. Have you ever used the term, “work fam”? If you have, you see your coworkers as family and you have a close bond.

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While feeling close to your coworkers can be a good thing, it’s an entirely different situation when you are feeling close to your boss—so close in fact that you’ve developed romantic feelings for them. But is the attraction real and valid, motivated by true love? Or is it motivated by something else? Here’s why you may have fallen in love with your boss.

They’re in the Spotlight

Okay, so your boss is no Ryan Gosling, George Clooney or Angelina Jolie, but it may not necessarily be your boss’ looks you’re attracted to. You could be attracted to the spotlight that surrounds them. If they’re a great boss and well-liked, you could be drawn to the positive energy that radiates from them and you want to feel that positive energy too, so you think about being romantically linked to them.

They’ve Shown an Interest in You

I’m not necessarily talking about a romantic interest, but if your boss takes an interest in you, you may misunderstand their intentions—especially if you find them attractive. So a thumbs up for an excellent presentation or a pat on the back for landing a big client suddenly has a romantic subtext that only you understand. If your boss is making you feel important, you could start to crush on them.

They Have Power

Power is sexy—there’s no doubt about it. Every day you are in the presence of someone who can hire and fire as they please. They get to make the big decisions and they direct the course of projects. When someone smart and capable is in control and making the right decisions, they are admired by others. Power is an aphrodisiac.

They Can Promote You

If you thought a little flirting could get you promoted, would you do it? It’s not uncommon for people to use seduction to climb the ranks at work. Perhaps you have the kind of boss who feels respected when surrounded by “yes” people. They may like to have their ego stroked—both personally and professionally. When someone shows them special attention, they may be drawn to it, and actively seek it out. And if a less-than-stellar home life has got them down, they may feel like confiding in or inviting someone to get together after work. Would you like it to be you?

They’re in a Relationship

Your boss is forbidden fruit in many ways, but if they’re coupled, taking them away from their significant other may be intriguing. It’s the kind of ego boost a person with low self-esteem may want. Of course if a romantic liaison occurs, and you’re found out, the fallout would be detrimental to both your careers and your boss’ personal life.

They’re Flirting With You

If your boss is flirting with you, you may like the attention. And if you flirt back, you may be dreaming of the promotion that could come with a personal relationship. But the special attention you receive may not go unnoticed by your coworkers and more importantly, Human Resources. So you need to decide if the risk you’re taking is worth the backlash you’ll experience from your coworkers or the loss of your job.

Love is great, but sometimes it can make a person lose their head. When you fall in love with your boss, you may feel they’re your soulmate. But you’re taking a huge risk if you turn feelings and fantasy into a romantic relationship. Think about your career first.

One thought on “Why You Fell in Love With Your Boss

  1. Denise Miller

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    Reply

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