Why is Love so Complicated?

Challenges in your chart

Do you or someone you know always seem to attract complicated relationships, but have no idea why? If love takes an exhaustive amount of effort and compromise to stay afloat, then your relationship ranks high on the complexity meter. The good news is, your astrology chart can reveal the reasons for complicated involvements, why you manifested the experience and ways to handle the challenges.

To offer some examples, we'll take a peek at the charts of Angelina Jolie and Madonna, who have a tendency for such entanglements. But first, let's look at how to spot a propensity for complicated love. It's all about squares and oppositions, which reveal the challenges in a chart. That is, planets that are three signs apart (90 degrees), like Taurus and Leo, form a square aspect. Planets that are opposite from each other (180 degrees), like Taurus and Scorpio, form an opposition aspect.

Venus and Mars
And as you probably know, Venus and Mars have a lot to do with relationships, because Venus rules love and Mars rules sex. But if those two planets form a square or opposition aspect in a chart, then the person will have an inner conflict between what they need in love (Venus) and who they're sexually attracted to (Mars). They may repeatedly fall in love with people who they aren't particularly turned on by, or they have sexual relationships with people they don't love. Much to their frustration. Other planets and the Sun and Moon can form difficult aspects with each other as well, which further complicates things, but for now, we'll just focus on Venus and Mars.

So, if you (or your partner) have lots of squares and oppositions in your chart, especially if Venus and Mars are involved, then you'll probably attract people who meet only some of your needs, and you may try very hard to make the relationship work. That's because, at an unconscious level, you're using those relationships to work through your own inner conflicts. When you integrate your needs for love and passion (or other needs that are in conflict), then you'll stop attracting complications and start attracting compatibility.

That may sound simplistic, but it's true, because you attract people who mirror your inner life. Hence, the clearer you are about what you need in a relationship - and knowing your chart can help you achieve this clarity - the better chance you'll have of manifesting true love.

Now, about those complicated celebrities...

Angelina Jolie: me vs. motherhood
Intriguingly, this award-winning Gemini actor and mother of six (and counting) is a unique combination of sex goddess and earth mother. Her sizzling onscreen performances seem at odds with her humanitarian efforts on behalf of children around the world. But she's just living out her destiny, as indicated by numerous square aspects between placements in Aries (individuality) and Cancer (motherhood). Her Moon and Mars are in me-oriented Aries. These influences are the daring, sexy side of her nature. However, her Venus and Saturn in Cancer indicate she needs strong family tries to be fulfilled. These conflicting needs undoubtedly contributed to two failed marriages (to actors Jonny Lee Miller and Billy Bob Thornton). Now, she seems more adept at integrating her desire for extreme independence and building a family - which bodes well for her relationship with actor Brad Pitt, who seems to give her lots of freedom while being the father of her children. A dream catch for an Aries-Cancer woman.

Madonna: passion vs. stability
No one lights up the stage like a Leo, and Madonna is no exception. The singer/songwriter and actor has Sun and Venus in fiery Leo, which says she shines like the sun and needs plenty of attention. Passion is a nonnegotiable necessity. Ah, but there's a catch. She has Mars in Taurus, the sign of stability and security. This means that while she craves a madly passionate relationship (Venus), she also craves a man (Mars) who is earthy, practical and, dare we say, even a little boring. She certainly found her earthy man in Guy Richie, a Virgo, and her fiery man in her first husband, actor Sean Penn, a Leo. Now if she can just integrate the two sides of her nature, perhaps she'll find both passion and stability in one man - and live happily ever after. Maybe the third times a charm for this lucky Leo.

As you can see from these two celebrity's charts, difficult aspects in your chart are there to help you grow. After all, with no challenges, you'd stagnate in your comfort zone - and in your relationships, too. If you can integrate conflicting sides of your nature so they work well together, then you'll stand a better chance of attracting a compatible and long-lasting love.

Cortney Litwin is the co-host of the Cosmic Sutra on KarmaSolRadio, an online talk show featuring astrology and dream interpretation.