Let Love Grow

Love comes in many forms - not just the romantic kind

Magical.
Exhilarating.
Painful.
Debilitating.
These words have often been used to describe love. Many have said there's nothing more magical, loftier or more powerful than love. But it's also been said that there's nothing more misunderstood, frustrating or undervalued. For most, love is confusing and cloudy. Poets, philosophers, prophets, parents and teenagers have all tried to unravel its mysteries, but no single definition of love satisfies or sticks.

In the book All About Love, cultural critic and feminist theorist Bell Hooks describes how faulty definitions of love (learned through culture and experience) have created obstacles to our happiness. She recommends thinking of love as a verb rather than as a noun - love as an action rather than as a feeling. Hooks refers to the groundbreaking self-help book The Road Less Traveled, where M. Scott Peck defines love as "the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth." Within this definition is the idea that we willfully choose to let love grow in our lives or not. Hooks reminds us, however, of the many obstacles that might impede us from making the right choices.

It doesn't help that in our culture, the definition of love seems narrowly focused on romantic relationships. Romantic love (that which includes physical intimacy) is just one of many ways to experience the action/emotion.

The opening lines of the popular film Love, Actually state "General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed-but I don't see that-seems to me that love is everywhere." While like most mainstream movies, it focuses on romantic love, consider the film's statement broadly. There is a universe of loving relationships that exists alongside romance.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…

As Valentine's Day approaches, the focus on romantic love gets even stronger, making this a particularly frustrating or saddening time for those who aren't involved. But let's turn the tables. Whether it be a passion for books or a fondness for animals, this Valentine's Day begin honoring the myriad ways love plays out in your life. Send flowers to your cat. Ask your novel-in-progress to be your Valentine. Take yourself on a nature date and reconnect to the love that is universal.

Wondering what your love relationships (outside of romance) could be? Some non-romantic love relationships in your life might include:

Family
Our first lessons in loving begin here. Often we learn our first faulty definitions of love from family members. If you are able to focus on the healthy aspects of these relationships, all will benefit, whether it be children, parents, siblings or other relatives.

Friends
Find a natural way to tell close friends how much you love them. You might be surprised at how quickly the doors of reciprocation open.

Pets
Consider the comfort, satisfaction and unconditional love a pet offers you.

Activities
Perhaps you are lucky enough to love your job or another kind of activity like gardening, painting or windsurfing.

God or Spirit
Your deep relationship with god or the spirit can be a wellspring of love.

The Self
Loving the Self is the supreme goal.

Imagine a world where no one felt ashamed to admit the wealth of love stirring within. These days, we hold the statement "I love you" as if it were a deadly weapon. A Buddhist anecdote advises us to release our "cows" - our attachment to worldly things. Why not release the fear associated with admitting to love?

Mahatma Gandhi imagined a world where everyone had the courage to love. He equated his nonviolent philosophy of satyagraha, insistence on truth, with love, explaining "In thousands of our acts, the propelling power is truth or love. The relations between father and son, husband and wife, indeed our family relations are largely guided by truth or love. When men and women have gone a stage further, they would extend the law of love, i.e. satyagraha, from the family to the village," from the village to the province, from province to province, and from nation to nation.

Looking to increase the possibilities of love in your life? Speak to a gifted psychic today!