Astrology can work for us... or against us. This Sunday, June 4th, is one of those not so great days when it comes to matters of the heart. With serious Saturn squaring Venus, ruler of love, romantic matters take on all the worst aspects of both planets, providing fertile ground for arguments and tests of your relationship's viability.
Keeping that in mind, here are five tips for handling conflict with your loved one every day(and especially on this serious Sunday)!
Think before you speak.
This sounds obvious, but it's very important to remember that you can't take back what you say. Unfortunately there is no rewind button for life and though you may want to scream your head off and spit out the meanest things that come to mind in the heat of the moment (especially if you're an Aries or a Scorpio!), your words will come back to bite you. One of the best ways to avoid inappropriate outbursts (however well deserved - you should never want to hurt the person you love), is to speak up when something is bothering you. By voicing your concerns before they escalate you help to prevent the unfortunate, stinging slip of the tongue.
In this case, speak on Saturday, then on Sunday... hold your peace.
Know what's really important to you.
Think about it. Are his remote control hogging ways really worth a full blown fight? I doubt it. If he's insistent upon watching baseball and you're not a fan, go in the other room... or better yet, do something else altogether that you enjoy. You can spend time together later. If this was your scheduled time together and he thinks something else is more important, then speak about it calmly. But try not to be the nag. In other words, if your guy is usually perfectly attentive and considerate and simply wants to do something for himself, today is not the day to make a fuss about it. Things will get much bigger than you intended them to and you may find that you wish you'd chosen your battles more carefully.
Remain calm.
First, nothing scares a man more than a rational woman. Particularly in the face of his own irrationality. But all kidding aside, if you want to be heard, theatrics are not the best way to make him listen. If indeed, you hit a serious stumbling block -- on Sunday or on any day -- you want to do your best to remain grounded and speak your feelings - not scream them. If he initiates the craziness, don't agree to go there. Taking the higher road may be tough (hell, it may be damn near impossible sometimes), but if you can manage to do it, you'll feel all the better later. And if he took the low road, you'll be the one with the upper hand... not that anyone's counting.
Don't bring up the past.
Patterns are one thing. If there is a repetitive behavior going on it may be necessary to briefly indicate how this has happened before. However, much more often, when the past comes up in arguments, it's about old grudges or settling a score. The simple truth is, if you and your guy have elected to stay together despite some past trouble, it's pretty much off the table -- unless it's happened again. If he once said something to you or did something that you keep on bringing up however, you're just rehashing the past... and missing what's going on at the moment. Which, may actually be troublesome based on the fact that you're stuck in the land of yesterday.
Assess what is going on in the now. And deal with it. Clear the air calmly and get present so that you can create a happier future.
Keep on point.
This goes hand in hand with not bringing up the past -- and knowing what's important to you. No matter how tempted you are, try not to segue into all the little things that piss you off, or some other subject that you feel needs attention in your relationship. Like so many other tasks, relationship needs require prioritizing. This is for several reasons, not least of which is the fact that men think (and act) more singularly than women, who are more skilled at multi-tasking. If you want to get anything accomplished with a serious discussion, you need to be targeted and tackle things one at a time.
Does this mean everything can't wind up part of the same discussion - no. But a littany of requests/dramas/problems is probably going to make your man run in the other direction. Which is not what you want to do... particularly on a day like Sunday.
And if he's the one starting the melee, opt out. Or at least see number one through four.
In short, this Sunday try to keep things as breezy as possible. You can argue on Monday or Tuesday if need be, when the planets are better aligned to support your growth as a pair. But in any case - and on any day - do try to discuss things first. After all, communication is the key to any relationship, whether you're dealing with serious matters like committment and marriage or day to day things like what to have for dinner!
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