Studies show, your emotional quotient and not your IQ is the best indicator of personal success. Where do you stand? Since the 1990s, scientists have been studying emotional intelligence. What does it mean you wonder? EQ (or emotional quotient) measures how well a person understands their own emotions and those of others, as well as how that information affects their actions.
Most notable in these studies is that when EQ is measured (amongst people with similar IQ scores), it corresponds directly to success. In other words, it's not just how "smart" you are, but how intuitive and able to manage your feelings you are that dictates how well you perform professionally - and in your personal life!
Do you want to know how high your EQ is? Take our quiz to find out.
Answer the following 5 questions and get a basic idea about your own EQ:
1. It's been a few days since a first date and the person you went out with hasn't called or emailed. You:
- Analyze and re-analyze the date wondering what you did or said to put them off.
- Assume they're dysfunctional.
- Reach out to them (presuming you'd like to see them again). After all, what's the harm in asking.
- Cyber/phone-stalk until you get a response.
The most emotionally intelligent answer is: c. While cyber/phone stalking would be aggressive and against your highest good, a healthy, simple expression of your desire to continue getting to know someone prevents you from over-analyzing the past or making judgments on the unknown. The emotionally intelligent person is connected to their own feelings and not dependent on someone else's for confirmation or validation.
2. The way I'd deal with an unwanted breakup would be to:
- Go out immediately with someone else.
- Sob forever - you can't get over lost love.
- Figure out how to get them back.
- Get my feelings out in order to move on.
The most emotionally intelligent answer is: d. While it's often easy to fall into someone else's arms or dive into a pint of Ben & Jerry's, and planning to win them back may seem the most imaginative, allowing yourself full emotional expression - crying, leaning on your friends, turning to counselors - is the best way to cope in this situation. Dealing with uncertainty is difficult and scary, but the emotionally connected face their fears and do what is best for their well-being as often as possible.
3. True or false: I expect perfection.
- True - from others, but not from myself.
- True - not from others, but from myself.
- False - nobody's perfect and I try to be understanding of that.
The most emotionally intelligent answer is: c. While it may seem like people with high IQs would also have exacting standards, they also understand that we are all human and thereby subject to occasional screw ups. It doesn't mean they don't get disappointed, but they do work against perfectionist tendencies toward forgiveness and understanding of others and themselves.
4. Which of these answers would upset or frighten you:
- Standing up for myself when I have been wronged.
- Facing someone who is angry or upset with me.
- Displaying affection.
- None of these are upsetting even if they're not all fun.
- All of them - I am not good in emotional situations, positive or negative.
The most emotionally intelligent answer is: d. Those who are able to interpret emotional situations know that they are entitled to feelings - and so are those around them. They may not enjoy uncomfortable exchanges but they recognize that clearing the air, accepting responsibility and letting those you care for know you do… are all valuable.
5. I expect other people to react and behave as I do.
- Most of the time. We're all human. How different can our emotions be?
- Sometimes, particularly in sensitive situations. But I usually look deeper after my initial reactions.
- Rarely. I recognize that all of our motivations are different and try to act accordingly.
- Never. I'm too damaged to judge anyone's actions.
The most emotionally intelligent answer is: c. On occasion we all fall back to what we know - ourselves. However, the most emotionally capable individuals recognize that we haven't all walked in each other's shoes and thereby, we don't always understand others motivations and can't assume a link to our own.
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