Be a Better Mind Reader

5 tips for seeing into your lover's head

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Source: <a href='http://www.californiapsychics.com'>California Psychics</a><br><br><p>You come home a bit late from work and your sweetheart doesn't say one word. Instantly, your mind churns out possibilities - did I say something wrong this morning? Did something happen at work? So, you toss out oh-so-casual questions and while listening to the answers you're scanning for clues: posture, tone of voice, fleeting expressions, the mood reflecting in the eyes. You're mind-reading. </p> <p></p> <p>We do it with our lovers, our mothers, our friends, co-workers and neighbors. It's how we decide who's trustworthy, who's fun and who's a jerk.&nbsp; From the beginning of civilization, tribal living and group dynamics were essential for survival, so it's not surprising that we all have a facility for mind-reading. What's interesting is how bad we are at it.</p> <p></p> <p>A psychological study where subjects had to identify the mood, emotions and attitudes of another person resulted in an average accuracy rate of 30%. The University of Texas studies on empathetic accuracy found that few people did better than 30% and that even the best subjects were only 60% accurate. This means we're terrible at reading other people. However, a few simple actions&nbsp;can help you mind-read more accurately:</p> <p></p> <p><strong>Never assume<br></strong>Statistics show that after the first year of marriage, couples feel they've grown apart. Why? They stop paying close attention to each other and start making assumptions. Being misread by someone close to us creates distance. Instead, strive to give your love the same absorbed curiosity you had when you both fell in love. Your ability to read them accurately will magically rebound.</p> <p><strong></strong></p> <p><strong>Make time<br></strong>The best way to get to learn to read someone is to spend time with them. Once you've seen someone under pressure in a meeting, driving in rush hour traffic or at home with the family you'll have enough information to be able to better judge their emotional state.</p> <p></p> <p><strong>Change focus<br></strong>Often when we zero in on someone, it's because there's something at stake for us. Our needs lower our ability to perceive the other person accurately. To set your concerns aside, take ten deep breaths and force yourself to focus on the other person, to really listen and really observe. Also, try to "mirror"&nbsp;their posture. This will subtly tune you into the underlying emotional state. It will also make the other person feel heard and they'll become more open.</p> <p></p> <p><strong>Ask questions<br></strong>One of the best ways to increase empathy is to ask questions. Pose simple questions like, "You sound really low today, is that right?" This will help you read that person and to check your accuracy.</p> <p><strong></strong></p> <p><strong>Express yourself <br></strong>Decide to deliberately be more expressive - it's contagious! Most people will become more emotive in response. With more emotion on the surface, it's easier to know what's on someone's mind.</p> <p><strong></strong></p> <div style="border-top: 1px dotted rgb(201, 217, 217); border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(201, 217, 217); margin: 10px 0px; padding: 10px 4px; font-weight: bold;"><!-- ADD COPY BELOW -->Are you having trouble reading people? Talk to a psychic and find out what you may be missing. <!-- ADD COPY ABOVE -->Call <span style="font-size: 16px; color: rgb(211, 61, 38);">1.800.573.4830</span> or <a href="http://www.californiapsychics.com/c/c.aspx?lid=103258">click here</a> now.</div>

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You come home a bit late from work and your sweetheart doesn't say one word. Instantly, your mind churns out possibilities - did I say something wrong this morning? Did something happen at work? So, you toss out oh-so-casual questions and while listening to the answers you're scanning for clues: posture, tone of voice, fleeting expressions, the mood reflecting in the eyes. You're mind-reading.

We do it with our lovers, our mothers, our friends, co-workers and neighbors. It's how we decide who's trustworthy, who's fun and who's a jerk.  From the beginning of civilization, tribal living and group dynamics were essential for survival, so it's not surprising that we all have a facility for mind-reading. What's interesting is how bad we are at it.

A psychological study where subjects had to identify the mood, emotions and attitudes of another person resulted in an average accuracy rate of 30%. The University of Texas studies on empathetic accuracy found that few people did better than 30% and that even the best subjects were only 60% accurate. This means we're terrible at reading other people. However, a few simple actions can help you mind-read more accurately:

Never assume
Statistics show that after the first year of marriage, couples feel they've grown apart. Why? They stop paying close attention to each other and start making assumptions. Being misread by someone close to us creates distance. Instead, strive to give your love the same absorbed curiosity you had when you both fell in love. Your ability to read them accurately will magically rebound.

Make time
The best way to get to learn to read someone is to spend time with them. Once you've seen someone under pressure in a meeting, driving in rush hour traffic or at home with the family you'll have enough information to be able to better judge their emotional state.

Change focus
Often when we zero in on someone, it's because there's something at stake for us. Our needs lower our ability to perceive the other person accurately. To set your concerns aside, take ten deep breaths and force yourself to focus on the other person, to really listen and really observe. Also, try to "mirror" their posture. This will subtly tune you into the underlying emotional state. It will also make the other person feel heard and they'll become more open.

Ask questions
One of the best ways to increase empathy is to ask questions. Pose simple questions like, "You sound really low today, is that right?" This will help you read that person and to check your accuracy.

Express yourself
Decide to deliberately be more expressive - it's contagious! Most people will become more emotive in response. With more emotion on the surface, it's easier to know what's on someone's mind.